this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
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Rice confirmed sentient and sapient. Vegans everywhere are in tears. International governments are drafting a Bill of Rice to ensure the rights of these beings. Churches are redirecting rice purchased for weddings to be given directly to their missionaries. Little do we know, the grains will soon band together and revolt, and the Rice War will be upon us.
Oh man we'd be so fucked if all plants were sentient. We'd still eat, but we'd be doomed to commit plant war crimes to live
They could be sentient without us knowing. But they live on a different time scale. Everything we do to them would happen very quickly in their perception. So don't worry and bon appetit.
When the ~~yogurt~~ rice took over
And isn’t rice pudding just grain-based yogurt?
In these trying times, remember to not buy into Big Rice propaganda!