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Somehow I seem to have gotten through 14 years of parenting a good kid without once hitting her for any reason.
The most violent thing I've ever done is grab her wrist and pull her quickly when she was a toddler and on the sidewalk and suddenly decided to try to run off the curb and into traffic. And that wasn't punishment, that was a last resort to stop her from accidentally killing herself.
This is commendable of course. Do you think it's because you're just a better person, or because the child was a better person? Where would you put yourself in the nature vs nurture dimension?
I think it's because there's never a reason to hit a child. It has no idea with being a "better person," whatever that means.
I agree that there's never a good reason to hit a child. I mean unless you're training martial arts with them or something, but that's obviously not what this is about.
Surely a person with better self-control (like yourself, apparently) is a better person? Or a person who doesn't turn to violence when they get too angry to control themselves. Especially as a parent, who is constantly pushed towards angry, at least at some points of parenthood. That's what I was wondering about: were you a parent with superior self-control or were you a parent with the sort of a child that you didn't really need superior self-control?
I had my first child decades ago, and until then I had the self-image of being a calm person with a pretty high level of self-control. That image sure vanished quickly, and I was poorly prepared for the dissonance.
You're the one making this better and worse judgment, not me. All I am saying is that there is no good reason to hit a child.
Do you feel awkward being called a better person? I'm not doing it sarcastically or as a trap.
No, I just don't think you are really in the position to judge it, only knowing a tiny bit about me. I could be horrific in other ways. But I appreciate it.