this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What annoys me is that there are episodes where they show that the Computer is perfectly capable of beaming people (and much-much more) all by itself, but for some reason they need a person to slowly pull 3 sliders up and down.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The computer is capable of beaming people wherever in perfectly ideal conditions, at least. In order to preserve drama, it seems like every nine seconds they're encountering some random magical rocks in terrain, a negative space wedgie, equipment failure, battle damage, etc., etc., that's preventing the transporter from Just Working. Since otherwise we'd have to assume the Enterprise crew are blisteringly idiotic for just not using the transporter to Deus Ex Machina themselves out of whatever the danger is this week as a first resort every single time. ("The Breen dropship has drilled through the hull and boarding parties are on decks 7, 8, and 9! Let's all stand around in a foggy hallway and pew-pew ineffectually at each other rather than just beaming the fuckers out into space!)

I theorize that an experienced transporter operator is required to beam through interference, radiation, through shields, at warp speed, or whatever other previously described limitation of the transporters needs to be overcome to make the plot work today. So it's not just sliding the sliders -- It's how you slide the sliders. Otherwise you might get get yourself Barclay'ed...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I mean, I've seen the Computer beam them up in most sub-optimal conditions. Usually, on away missions, using the shuttle. And I, of course, understand that the real answer is "because the plot demands it". But it still annoys me a bit.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If the transporter really worked they would just transport people out of caves all the time. Saying they can't do that makes zero sense that rocks would block a subspace transmission. It's not going through the rocks, it's circumventing them through another dimension.

They try to hand wave it away by saying that they can't get a sensor lock, but wouldn't you in that case just lock onto the entire interior of the cave, and beam all of it to the surface. You'll probably transport a lot of useless boulders as well but who cares. It's not like you have a weight capacity.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe they tried that but discovered a small problem with beaming the away party plus 2000 tons of unsupported rock above their heads.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They just have such ridiculously OP tech that you can solve virtually any problem with ease. For instance:

  • Beam the entire thing and then purge the rock from buffer before materialistic (they do that with guns and viruses)
  • Beam them into a holodeck and create holo-supports
  • Beam-dig? Transport chunks of rock to the side until you have enough "sensor lock".
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You could even automate the process. Automatically purge rock from the pattern, since obviously no part of the away crew are made of rock.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Until you transport a Brikar ensign and they materialize without their skin 💀

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Beam them into a cargo hold, with gravity disabled

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The computer can do all of that, including managing shields, it's just slower, and has safety checks installed to prevent itself from unpowering or blacking out modules.

Human operators have a "chaos factor" and can do stupid things like diverting power from shields (down to 1%) to recharge the phaser banks just a bit faster, in-between enemy volleys.

At least, that's what we want to tell ourselves to ensure that there's still jobs aboard fully autonomous luxury gay communist spacefaring vessels ;)