this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
1294 points (98.9% liked)

Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

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[–] [email protected] 169 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Especially when they can get upvotes for free on Lemmy

[–] [email protected] 123 points 3 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 81 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Here you go friend, have some free drugs

[–] [email protected] 63 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Can I have some drugs too? I’m joshin’ hard man

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Would you suck their wang for it

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Real talk, hand jobs are kind of underrated.

Maybe the reason is the left's lack of work ethic ('go fast' rather than 'do it right') and, in a Petersonian sense, to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace ('fastest mario').

(am I trying too hard, I really want to bring this copypasta back. I wish lemmy had more copypasta shitposts)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I've been giving myself hand jobs for 30 years. I'm a pro compared to anyone who wants to give me one.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Nobody knows my dick like I do!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

No haha never haha that’s not something I would do ha ha ha

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I could really use a fix right now me friend

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

I got you, fam.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

1 downvote = 1 dopamine too!

Engagement is all that matters!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Even 0 engagement is fine if i made myself laugh from my own comment. That = 1 dopamine too!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

But upvote dopamine has a short drug half life