this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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Sigh I had to tone it down cause i was "too much". I wasn't even trying hard. Literally holding back now but that how spouse wants it.
Comments like these just make me believe my decision never to marry was a good one. I understand love is about compromise, but sacrificing freedom is not worth it, I don't think. You are who you are. Why would someone marry and then try to change their partner. Marry who you want not what you want them to be. Kind of backwards.
Imo anyone who doesn't feel free in a marriage is doing it wrong. Compromise is for things like getting orange juice with some pulp because one likes lots and the other likes none, not compromising who you fundamentally are as a person.
Don't marry someone who doesn't appreciate the quirks that make you you.
Can't appricate everything. Though that would be amazing. Example: I Hate how lazer focus SO is when doing everything. But we have very different tasks. Mine don't require so much creativity and I feel I need constant stimulus to keep me focused. Ez fix, I wear head sets and listen to pod casts. Still annoys me when I want attention for something I need input on but w/e it can wait. Can't change that about a person and I wont bother.
You got it wrong. The spouse did mrry who they wanted, it's just not who OP is. The lesson should be "be yourself" not "Don't get married because then you can't be yourself".
Eh it's just not all of me. SO broke up with me in 5 days in cause I was too heavy handed emotional. I went Full Gomez. I just felt like when we started dating I could finally express the all emotions that accumulated from being friends. BIG mistake. Took 2 months of just going back to friends to reel back in. Since then I've tried going full on occasionally but it's always "you're too much". It's small price to be with the only person I trust more than my mother
Well yeah, going full Gomez within 5 days is too much for anyone. You probably would have been fine had you slowly ramped up so it felt natural vs some kind of love bombing.
Lol More like nuke! I fell at first sight so suppressing emotions the whole time we were friends and releasing all that after really connecting so deeply was a bad choice. I truly felt possessed. Like I was a otome character and player kept pressed x. Super out of character for me. Frankly, terrifying so much happened on autopilot.
Thankfully, I was able to get my wish granted in the end.
I always believe living itself requires sacrifice. Sure I feel restricted but when am I not? There is always some rule I have to accept. Personally, being with someone close to who you want to be and editing them over the decades is more acceptable to me than constantly find them. And I did try for years but no one else really gave me a chance or worst I have 0 respected for them and they made me feel terrible for even considering them. But here is a person who has always been a great friend but is just repressed and won't open up. Take the bird in the hand is my choice.