this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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Fun trick! Don't try in America!
If anything it would be easier in America.
Just shoot them the second they touch it. Even if they're running away with it and you shoot them in the back you will gey away with it.
This protip only works for Cops
Yeah or the rich
Nah, rich people don't really do that. They'll just ruin your life and let you take care of the rest.
But then you have to move all the time. A pile of bodies might scare off bike thieves.
Would being near a school help?
Not as much as being near a pig farm would
Disclaimer: This post advises you to commit crimes. Do not take this post as fact.
Disclaimer pt.2: You may get away with it "in Texas, at night, and on your own property," but you have to hit all 3/3 of those, if you have 0/3, 1/3, or 2/3, you are also going to be prosecuted.
Alternatively, run over with car. You can commit any crime while in a car and get away with it. It's the law.
Do Americans even know how to ride a bicycle?
Yes, but they don’t know how to change gears.
Gears!!! This thing has gears?
Inexperienced, but possible. If only bikes worked the same way as America's best anti-theft measure: a car with manual transmission.
Can confirm. Left my 1986 SAAB 900 SPG unlocked for a decade in a couple major cities downtown areas. The only thing anyone ever took was some of my quarters. They also never broke the window to get in, and then realize it was a manual. Didn't even take the radio, as I did take the faceplate inside with me
They just don't know how to start it.