Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Before you go too far into it and spend lots of time, I think most VPS services let you installed a new OS on their admin site so you can start again from scratch. If you're not sure that is the right linux flavour, go for something else more mainstream so you can find lots of support online. Looking at the OS, I'm sure it might be good but I'm also sure you can install all the features very easily yourself, especially if it's just using docker mainly.
I second UFW. I found this guide useful: https://www.digitalocean.com/community/tutorials/ufw-essentials-common-firewall-rules-and-commands. You might want to try tailscale as others use it for easily setting up vpn access but not used it myself. Also go for fail2ban or, for more assurance but harder work, try crowdsec too.
You could also use cloudflare dns and add IP and/or country restrictions to block all traffic before it gets to your VPS. I have a country filter and it's crazy how many bots get blocked from all over!
Also before diving too deep into firewalls, which is a good idea none the less, just go to SSHd config and set
ListenAddressto only listen on the VPN network address instead of public IP, and no one can connect via the public IP.Keep it simple, and add complexity only as needed.
I personally prefer using public key encryption over passwords for ssh authentication. There's no need to rely on third-party VPN providers (like ZeroTier or Tailscale) or hosting your own "vpn server" for that purpose as ssh trafic is already encrypted.
The drawback of following the route you suggested is that you have to operate yet another service that could be misconfigured, potentially causing you to lose access to your server. If you're keen on further restricting access, consider whitelisting your static(!) IP address, the IP address ranges associated with your provider or the ranges assigned to your country for an additional layer of security.