this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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Someone recently told me that they sometimes feel gaslighted around me because I effortlessly make them question their beliefs and feelings. Hearing that didn't sit well with me, especially since I've been pondering the question in the title for quite some time.

I've always been quite critical of myself and don't consider myself a very nice person. When I discover that someone doesn't enjoy being around me, I don't blame them one bit. It's not like I'm intentionally mean or abusive; quite the opposite, actually. I have very strong morals. However, this includes things like not lying, which means I always speak the truth, even if not everyone likes hearing it. I don't conform to many social norms expected of me.

Despite all of this, I have deep relationships with several people and especially the elderly and for example the parents of my past girlfriends have all liked me a lot. But I can't help but wonder why they don't see me as I see myself. I worry that I'm hiding the true me so well that people don't actually like me, but rather the facade I unknowingly maintain. Then again, a true psychopath probably wouldn't be second-guessing themselves in this manner.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

For what it's worth, ADHD folks tend not to fit social norms, either, and have blind spots about their behavior and how people perceive them.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I had ADHD but also read this as ASD.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

There is a lot of overlap with ASD and ADHD symptoms/behaviors.