this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2024
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Gonna out myself as a complete idiot here, but I used to regularly trip on Benadryl for a period of about a year and a half before I went to rehab. Thankfully I managed to come out of it with little noticeable damage, but I was left with permanent visual snow, and I’m sure it impacted my memory although mine has never been great.
DPH is a horrible substance. It’s advertised as non-habit forming, but there is absolutely a psychological pull the likes of which I’ve never experienced with any other substance. Every trip is an absolutely awful experience, yet you continue to convince yourself the next one will be better. It never is.
I’ve managed to cut that demon out of my life, but the craziest part is I’ll still catch myself fantasizing about it. Like, I can hear the most horrifying trip report where someone goes through agonizing hell and ends up in the hospital with serious permanent damage, and still think “damn, I kinda wanna take some”.
It’s pure insanity.
Glad you're doing better now! Recovery is a lifelong effort, and I hope you're able to keep your reasons for stopping fresh in your mind whenever you feel tempted.