this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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>Volcano erupts in Indonesia
>Locals don't notice because they have shit weather radar
>747 flies through the dust cloud
>All 4 engines get filled with volcanic ash and burn out
>"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress."
>Spend 12 minutes gliding, dropping 23,500 feet in the process
>The pilots are preparing to be the first 747 ever to attempt a water landing
>Finally one of the engines restarts
>But ILS is offline
>Windscreen is completely opaque due to ash, no way to clean it
>Manage to land running entirely on instruments
>Fatalities: 0
>Injuries: 0
Survivors: 263

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I literally cannot tell the difference.

Source: am manager, and sometimes my underlings don't toil hard enough in the PowerPoint mines.

You should mercilessly berate them until morale improves, that's MBA 101.

You're gonna be back in the PowerPoint mines if you don't fix your soft-hearted attitude.