this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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>be me
>was kinda popular in HS
>our friend group had an orbiter and we all stuck around after graduation
>now in college
>orbiter has gotten closer with some members of the friend group I guess
>he gets on my nerves because he can't just find his own group
>last week he texts me
>"hey man do you wanna grab lunch together? I'm buying"
>think he's just trying to suck up to me
>say sure but blow him off
>he texts me again a couple days later
>"we can just grab a beer if you want, I just wanna catch up"
>why wont this guy take the hint
>just leave him on read
>ffw like two weeks
>find out from my friends that he asked each of us individually if we wanted to grab dinner
>everybody else said yes
>find out he got a big inheritance and gave each of them around $1000
>his "best friend" he bought a new phone and gave him $4000 for tuition

guys i fucked up bad. 1000 dollars would unironically change my life right now

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[–] [email protected] 135 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Plot twist: Anon was actually the annoying orbiter and the guy with the inheritance was just trying to be nice because no one else in the friend group ever invites Anon to anything

Double plot twist: there is no friend group and Anon is actually just describing something he saw on TV

[–] [email protected] 54 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Given they're on 4Chan, the odds of anon being the annoying orbiter without realising it is definitely non-zero

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago (1 children)

there is no friend group and Anon is actually just describing something he saw on TV

Well that’s just cheating, you can say that to every greentext.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Honestly I've always just assumed that's what like 75% of greentexts are anyway

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

That's some twist in a greentext. I usually start with "at least 80% likely to be fake" and adjust upwards from there.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

A week late, but the twist I expect: OP is the orbiter but no inheritance and wanted to hang out with one of the group friends (any of them) one on one but no one is interested so OP came up with a fantasy where they are losing out for not hanging out with him.