He calls 'em like he sees 'em.
z500
joined 1 year ago
Can haz
Hey, we're learning, okay?
Don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck. I got six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!
The candle that burns four times as bright burns a quarter as long
pan to tax preparation companies taking turns sucking off Uncle Sam
New atoms, same old bullshit
Fuck yeah, give me some of those fantasy cheese wheels
Monkey's paw: your teeth would also be as sensitive as the head of a penis
I'm already 2 years older than Mozart was when he died, the fuck am I even doing with my life
This reminds me of how I used to eat a spoonful of chunky peanut butter and then add a glug of maple syrup
Fun fact: all mice are devil worshippers