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Oh, never heard of amnezia. Never needed actually. But it looks like a good improvement on Wireguard. I will need a separate setup to test it out and currently I'm away from home with no clue when I will return. If I happen to find anything, I will definitely ping you.

In the HN page you linked many people mentioned v2ray. Have you tried that? How good is it?

Have you considered having Headscale on a cheap VPS? We are actually doing that and it is pretty capable. IIRC, you can configure not to use the tailscale servers at all, and use your own public VPS for coordination. Bonus point, tailscale hired the Headscale developer and maintainer, and they are allowed to work on Headscale while on their payroll. The team looks very much into FOSS.

It was originally created for the satire book Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source

This is some next level meta.

Unfortunately that is not how those graphs are plotted.

I found this in their GitHub repo.

Just out of curiosity, and I don't know anything about testing.

Is uuv is equivalent to Playwright + Cucumber?

I would say exactly that is what you have to describe. As I said certain things cannot be changed with therapy. It can only help you to get in terms with it.

Regarding the last point you mentioned. You are not giving up on her. Exerting constant pressure can't change certain realities. It is like thinking you can drain an ocean with a bucket and a lot of time.

You have to accept that there is nothing 'wrong' with your partner. If she is asexual there is nothing to 'cure'. You must build your life around this fact to be happy.

This does not mean that your needs should be discarded. In the same way you accept and respect the fact that she is asexual, she also has to take a mature stand and work on finding common grounds or compromises. That is how relationships work, isn't it?

You start therapy. Remember that you will need to find a suitable therapist. So don't hesitate to change therapists until you find one you are comfortable with. Maybe the therapist can help you on how this topic needs to be discussed with your partner. That may slowly open up new ways to improve the conditions.

No no.. Don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong here. Very scientifically speaking we still have no clear answer on how the sexuality of a person is determined. So far there is a consensus that there is a biological factor also in play.

It is not your failure as a partner. These are things beyond your control. She also can't do much on this. Therapy won't change the underlying reality. It will just help you to cope up with the hard realities that you are facing.

I highly recommend you take individual therapy if you haven't done so far. You may have to untangle decades of experiences to get in terms with it. It's never late, and the right therapist will definitely improve how you handle this.

Oh so sorry. I didn't realise you were talking about the situation you are in. I thought the first comment was just a thought experiment. I didn't pay enough attention. My bad.

In your case I guess she can be in the asexual part of the spectrum. One of my friends is facing a similar situation. The partner has no sex drive at all. But the partner is a great person in every other area. That relationship sustained because my friend also has a lower sex drive, but more than what the partner has.

Since this has been so long, I assume you have already tried the couple therapy and individual therapy. If not that is one thing you can try out.

But keep in mind that if your partner is really asexual, there isn't much that you can do. It's not their fault in any way. So either you have to accept the situation and build a life around this fact, or you have to move on. Since you have been in the relationship for a long time, I guess everything else is going well. Means you have already chosen the first option.

Oh, I was not aware about the 2022 policy. Thanks for sharing. I completely agree with the last point that if they retain the '.io', it will be a complete opposite of the written policy.

My company has a '.io' domain. We have to plan for the scenario of '.io' getting retired, I guess.

I think the point here is to give it more time and explore as much as possible. No conclusive statements, like this method will work or will not work, cannot be and should not be made considering the smaller time frame they have been together. There are multiple options the OP and the partner can try out if they want.

TBH I am glad the OP is thinking about the long term. The more they explore, the more they will be certain what they can and cannot.

Couple of pointers. One, if she is on any medication, check for any side effects. That includes any birth control pills. Two, you mentioned neither she masturbates nor she has experience, hence I would suggest that she may try masturbating if she is okay to try out. That may uncover more about her body.

Also if she lacks experience, it can take months for her to be completely comfortable and enjoy it, because relaxing is not very easy for everyone.