Older women in my family—with the best of intentions, have pleaded with me to overlook abusive, violent men at home because men just can't help the way they are and it's a woman's job to forget and make peace.
These are people that fundamentally don't think they have a right to baseline respect in their own homes by the people who supposedly loved them most. They'd need a decade's worth of therapy just to find their best interests, and then another to act on them.
Wait. There are places where your primary party is not public knowledge when you vote? Fuuuck. (it's usually a fire hall, not a lodge in my experience.)