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With your life, or artificially happy, knowing it’s temporary?

To be clear, this post is semi-autobiographical. My life’s not bad, just kind of dull. Recreational cannabis use is legal. Am I wrong to enjoy it? Should I focus on improving my life instead of getting high?

I'm writing this partly because I think others might be interested, partly because I want to know what others think of my setup, and partly because I'm going to upgrade my hardware and need to review my setup so that I can re-create it on the newer hardware.

I have an old 2009 iMac at home that wasn't being used anymore, so I installed Ubuntu server 2022.04 LTS. I have two printers, so I installed the CUPS manager, which allows my to print wirelessly from iPad, iPhones and my MacBook Air. For media, I run PlexMediaServer (video) and Navidrome. For content, I run Transmission, which I can manage from a web browser. For e-books, I use calibre which I access via a web browser (on my iPhone or a Kobo). For coding, I've installed Nginx, MariaDB and PHP.

My router has a built-in VPN, but I'd like to install WireGuard on the server. I'd also like to be able to collect and manage my family's photos. For now, I use MacOS Photos, but since we rarely plug our phones into the computer to sync them, they are usually only backed up to iCloud.

What else should I consider?

When you get to the end of your life, old and tired, and you look back on all the things you did and time you spent, what will make you say: yes, I did well and it was all worth it?

Put another way, if you have an extra hour tomorrow with nothing planned, what could you do with yourself to later say: I’m glad I did that? What if you have an unplanned day? Or a week? Does how you use that time change? Would the choice of how to use that time be more or less deliberate, depending on how long you have? Does that choice define you as a person?

When I’m unhappy, I feel like I’m doing life wrong. I’d rather be happy. But is happiness the point of life, or is there more to it? If I pursue happiness, mine first then for those around me, is that selfish? But if there’s a bigger purpose, then what about people with Alzheimer’s or dementia who can’t recall recent experiences or make plans?