ProfessorOwl_PhD

joined 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 hours ago

My opinion is that the probability of life developing on another planet, advancing to interstellar travel, and being physically close enough to us to visit us during the last few million years is so implausibly tiny that anyone seriously asking about their relations with human beings can be safely dismissed as a complete rube.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Using an item you haven't identified is always a recipe for disaster. I have not once heard of a group using an unidentified item and finding out it was anything other than the worst possible thing to use in the situation.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Interesting, I seem to have the opposite condition - something breaks, then they ask me to look at it and by the time I get there it's working perfectly again.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Arson is a right.

It should be a right.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

If a cat weighed 300 pounds, had the intelligence of a toddler and the morals of a seagull, it would be a dog. It's just a dog. Seals are exactly sea puppers, people just don't know what a pupper really is.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

why would i fucking care about the rest of what you have to say, liar? You're not here arguing in good faith, why would I bother?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)
  1. assets plural

a. the property of a deceased person subject by law to the payment of his or her debts and legacies

b. the entire property of a person, association, corporation, or estate applicable or subject to the payment of debts

  1. ADVANTAGE, RESOURCE

a. an item of value owned

b. assets plural the items on a balance sheet showing the book value of property owned

Hey now, something strange is going on here - see, when I visit that page, there aren't just 3 items. Now, you wouldn't be selectively ignoring parts of your own source to paint a certain narrative, would you? Because the 4th item I see is

4 : something useful in an effort to foil or defeat an enemy: such as
a : a piece of military equipment

b : spy

I'm sure you simply... overlooked it in your excitement. Now you're aware though, I'm sure you'll be happy to correct your comments.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

To be clear, being a troll or a paid actor doesn’t make you someone’s property.

Ok, I give up, I have no idea if you're doing a bit. Like I felt kinda confident you were serious, but this leaves me floundering. Purposely obtuse because you've talked yourself into such a stupid corner, or just that incredibly obtuse that you unironically think asset means property? Absolutely no way to tell which one it is.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Rutte spoke in Brussels after a high-level South Korean delegation, including top intelligence and military officials as well as senior diplomats, briefed the alliance’s 32 national ambassadors at Nato headquarters.

The South Koreans showed no evidence of North Korean troops in Kursk, according to European officials who were present for the 90-minute exchange

Smells like Saddam's WMD's all of a sudden.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

People love to talk about self reliance without thinking about it too hard - you're not on your own, you're entirely dependent on cooperating with others for your way of life. You did not builld you house, your car, your clothes, your bed. You did not grow your food, you did not mine the oil in your plastic products, nor refine it into them. You do not generate the electricity that powers your home and devices, you did not build the generator or infrastructure that brings power to you. Even the smallest things - the cutlery you use to eat, the soap you wash with, the bed you sleep on - were made by others for your use.

Self reliance is a capitalist myth that's inherently disproven by modern civilisation.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Me, planning consequences: hahaha

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

He could have stabbed it but chose not to I guess. Maybe he thought that would be more cruel?

Yup, that's some bonafide player logic right there.

 

I've got competitive tree felling, log flume riding, and caber tossing. There's archery and boxing/wrestling. There's chess, there's a pie eating competition, even an obstacle course.

That gives me all the mechanics I'm interested in settling the players into immediately - ranged and melee attacks, skill checks, saves, skill challenges, and roleplay - but I need more fun side bits to help set the scene. There's food stalls, a bar, a little gambling, and I'm probably going to have a children's storytime place the players can go and make up wild tales, but what other kinds of flavour do you pepper around your festivals for the players to interact with?

The campaign is Abomination Vaults for anyone with setting specific ideas.

 

I'm not interested in your PCs (or PCs you've heard/seen elsewhere), I want to know what the best PC someone else has played at a table with you is.

One of my friends doesn't have lots of TTRPG time, so generally just joins the odd fantasy game with the same character at different levels: Himbo Clerrick. Himbo lives up to his first name, being utterly gorgeous (think young Fabio on the cover of some sword and sorcery romance novel), incredibly heroic, and incredibly dense and oblivious, but not to his second name, being a Paladin.
Himbo had been a simple monk who had taken a vow of chastity to serve his god, but his incredible looks put the other monks' and nuns' vows in danger, so they gave him some weapons and armour, told him to go fight the forces of evil for his god, and then took a very cold bath. Powered by his devotion to his god and complete asexuality, he now travels the land looking for evils to defeat and goods to do.

Now, I'll admit the player has an impressive CV to begin with (experience in film and TV leading to setting up his own media company, Cambridge Law degree, nationally ranked cross country runner, decent jazz saxophonist, amateur boxer, etc), but Himbo inventively combines and subverts tropes in a way I only otherwise see from very experienced players, and the player has been happy to dive into and engage with the worlds as Himbo from the word go. Makes a great change from the people whose first character is Half-Elf Ranger #3752 and are scared to say or do anything even when directly asked.

 

I am SICK of having my incredible accomplishments (rolling dice and making up stories about them) dismissed as mere "luck". I HATE listening to people complain about how badly they roll. Today, I am going to reveal to you the secrets of how to make the most of your rolls and pull off incredible gaming achievements:

rule 1: Believe in the Heart of the Dice

Just like Yugioh from hit children's cartoon series Yu-gi-oh!, you need to believe in your dice, and they need to know that you believe in them. When they roll poorly, don't swap them out, keep using them, demonstrate that you believe they can do it. Punishments like Dice Jails won't help them reform their behaviour, so instead show the dice you care for them: cradle them in your hand, even when you don't intend to roll; find them private furnishings where they can relax with their closest friends between sessions; whisper affirmations to them while they're sleeping - show them you love them.
DO NOT FUCK THE DICE: Not only will it result in a very embarrassing hospital visit where you have to explain that you proceeded to engage in sexual intercourse with one or more small polyhedrons despite being warned not to by an owl that's a professor, but it will also result in a permanently awkward vibe between you and your dice, and you'll have to get rid of all of them and buy new ones that don't know about the whole dice-fucking situation.

rule 2: Stack the deck

Just because you're doing something dangerous doesn't mean it has to be difficult. Did my Paladin manage to 1v1 a Purple Worm despite the party giving up all hope because I rolled nothing but 20's? No, he won because 5e's rules are so unbalanced that he didn't need to roll higher than an 8 on a d20 to hit. Also a moment of tactical genuis where he leapt down its throat so it couldn't keep hitting him with its incredibly damaging tail sting, but mainly the low chance to fail.
You can't expect your dice to always bring out their absolute best, so give them lower targets they can hit consistantly. They will appreciate it, and pay you back by giving it their all when it really counts.
NB: You may find people claiming that this is a simple matter of probability; These people work for Big Statistics and are liars. Your dice do have feelings and appropriate targets are important for their growth.

rule 3: Once you do take a risk, make it an outrageous risk

Dice can't resist the tension of a high stakes roll, so raise those stakes as high as you can. Dramatic tension is key to keeping a die's interest, so if you need a really high roll for a plan to work, make sure it's really life or death.
Imagine the scene: A colossal dragon blue dragon is swooping and attacking a ship, far from land, surrounded by churning waves. A handful of arrows and magical rays fly from the deck, but if they are hurting her, she's undeterred - she seems determined to see this ship and its inhabitants reach the bottom of the ocean. On the deck stands a Minotaur Warden, frustrated as the dragon's speed keeps her far from his reach. He eyes her as she lines up her next swoop, starts running to where he thinks she'll attack, and takes a mighty leap - but where?
If you think he might grab her leg to hold on, or onto her wing to pin her and bring her down, you do not undestand drama. He jumped directly into her mouth, so he could hit her in the face. Obviously this prompted her to crunch down on the tasty morsel, but the dice were determined to see him live long enough to see his absurd scheme though, so, clinging onto consciousness by a handful of HP, he was still able to deliver one final blow with his warshovel.
Of course the die rolled a natural 20 and ensured it was a killing blow. In a situation that tense, who wouldn't? Just like you, the dice want something to really get excited for - you just need to give them the opportunity.

That's it.

Encouragement, achieveable goals, and stimulation. That's everything you need to almost guarantee your dice will always give you their best numbers. They will of course sometimes make mistakes, but these 3 rules will ensure that those mistakes never spiral out of control, and a critical success is never too far away.

 


mods I don't know what the hell this is but I needed it out of my head so feel free to delete

 

Maybe it's about a system, a specific mechanic, lore, builds, types of players, ttrpg-adjacent products - whatever they are, share them.

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