MadgePickles

Instagram reel transcript: "So you know how autistic people just talk and we literally mean like exactly what we say?"

"So like I realized that when I'm talking to a neurotypical person, even when I'm saying exactly what I'm saying, they're looking for like, the meeting underneath it, which is nothing."

"So the other day at work...I had a feedback session and one of the things they told me was that my communication wasn't clear... And their example was I asked 'What is so-and-so's job?' And she said, 'I knew exactly what you meant. I knew that you meant, 'She's not pulling her weight. Why is she on the team? Why haven't you fired her yet?"

"And I was like, hold up. I asked about her job was because I didn't know what her job was and I wanted you to tell me what her job was. And she was like, 'Oh. Well, that wasn't clear and you should really give more context when you ask a question.' And I was like, 'Okay..?? so...'I don't know what her job is...What is.. her.. job?"

Link to an Instagram reel Audio "I will grow under any conditions" Text "Me before I unmasked, working myself to what looks like irreversible ASD burnout"

Audio "I'm allergic to tap water" Text "Me after unmasking and learning how real skill regression is"

Image text: @agnieszkasshoes: "Part of what makes small talk so utterly debilitating for many of us who are neurodivergent is that having to smile and lie in answer to questions like, "how are you?" is exhausting to do even once, and society makes us do it countless times a day."

@LuckyHarmsGG: "It's not just the lie, it's the energy it takes to suppress the impulse to answer honestly, analyze whether the other person wants the truth, realize they almost certainly don't, and then have to make the DECISION to lie, every single time. Over and over. Decision fatigue is real"

@agnieszkasshoes: "Yes! The constant calculations are utterly exhausting - and all under the pressure of knowing that if you get it "wrong" you will be judged for it!"

My addition: For me, in addition to this, more specifically it's the energy to pull up that info and analyze how I am. Like I don't know the answer to that question and that's why it's so annoying. Now I need to analyze my day, decide what parts mean what to me and weigh the average basically, and then decide if that's appropriate to share/if the person really wants to hear the truth of that, then pull up my files of pre-prepared phrases for the question that fits most closely with the truth since not answering truthfully is close to impossible for me.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvPSP-2xU4h/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

I've had this question in my brain for weeks and I don't know where to put it. I guess I chose here because maybe someone else has had this same question and found answers. Maybe it's a stupid question actually.

But what is it like to be Neurotypical?

I am not confident I have known a single Neurotypical person, at least not well. They are apparently the vast majority of people, but I think everyone I've ever been close to was ND. As a late diagnosed AuDHD person, I find myself now analyzing every human I interact with trying to figure out how they are different than me, or how they are similar. I feel like I see the ghost of Neurodivergence in everyone and can't recognize neurotypicality when I see it.

What are the signs and symptoms of neurotypicality?

Reading is hard. I often want articles and PDFs for work to be read aloud while I'm doing something else. Anyone have any Android apps for this?

I need to eat something or there will be Consequences™ but the Good Foods© are now Bad. 😭 Safe food limbo is my deepest fear

Took off my corporate smile, put on a comfortable shirt, laying on my bean bag, deep breathing. Giving myself permission to shut down after a heavy duty bout of masking has been the best part of learning about autism.