Please remember that your DM is a person. They are also playing the game and deserve to have fun, and for their boundaries to be respected. They are not just a physics engine for your shenanigans.
That being said, some DMs in specific groups might be totally fine with this. Just don't spring it on someone without prior discussion and consent. That is (among other things) what session zero is for.
If I'm not the farmer?
I would follow a pre-scripted path depending on the day of the week and season, and refuse to accept more than two gifts. I would be a romance option, but the annoying kind that stays inside most of the time so it's hard to build rapport.
For extra credit, I would post ads inexplicably asking for someone to bring me a topaz to rub on my sore knees.
I mean, anything? That's got to be close enough to 100% to make no difference. Rocks in space hit planets, pieces break off at escape velocity, they become the space rocks that hit other planets. I doubt there's a solid body in the inner solar system that doesn't have at least a little bit of Mars on it.
I think you'd be surprised just how many people don't. I didn't until I was in my 30s, mostly because my parents never taught me how and it seemed like an 'extra' step. I tried a couple times but couldn't make a habit of it.
Weirdly, It finally clicked for me when a dentist patiently explained that you don't brush your teeth, you clean your teeth.
Brushing and flossing are not two different tasks. That would be like sweeping the floor and then just leaving the pile of dirt on the floor instead of sweeping it into the dustpan. It's not done if you only do half of it. She also suggested tools I could use to make it less painful (I have TMJ). I have only missed a single day since, and that was because I was unconscious for a surgical procedure.
I love monty python's flying circus, but they had multiple sketches across several different episodes where the punchline was a gay person getting murdered. Kinda hard to watch some of them now.
This one is actually pretty funny!
Followup, are they usually stacked one atop the other in places that write using Kanji?
Husbando is the only word I have ever heard used for this (other than just throwing gender to the wind and calling male characters waifu as well)
My roommate is obsessed with Halloween and does one of those little model villages every year with tiny spooky buildings that light up and stuff. I sometimes sculpt or 3D print parts and props for it. It's fun to see how much joy he gets out of it, and how it grows a little each year.
Get a little sketch book or tablet. Every time an ad comes on, draw an object (or dog! Or person!) in the room with you. Try to do the whole sketch over a single ad break, focusing on the biggest, most important shapes first. You'll learn to draw very quickly.
If you already know how to draw, draw. Use it or lose it!
Disclaimer: am artist, possibly biased. Doing art for its own sake is fun for me, so it doesn't need to have a 'point.'
I seem to recall Maverick(1994) having a good card game as a central plot element, which takes place on a river boat casino. It's also just a really fun movie about three competing con artists (played by James Garner, Mel Gibson, and Jodie Foster).
It's been a few years since I've seen it, and it's set in the old west, so sorry if it has any racisms I forgot about!
Mine isn't this bad, but I can relate to the first-day-on-Adderall thing. It was wild when I walked into my messy bathroom an hour after that first dose and my brain just went: "It is possible, even reasonable for you to clean this bathroom, in a finite amount of time, without every moment filling you with dread. This task will not consume your whole ~~life~~ day." My brain had simply never done that before. I could just choose to do something and--perhaps more importantly--to stop doing something. I remember I was ~~hyperfixating~~ working on a hobby project at 11 PM on a work night and my brain went: "If you stop working now, brush your teeth and go to bed, this fun project will still be here for you to work on tomorrow. You don't have to keep at it until 6 AM and then go to work without sleeping." That seemed like such a foreign concept at the time. It was weird to hear that from my own brain, not in a "you're being bad" way, but in a "it's going to be okay" way. There was a lot of happy crying those first few weeks.
Just wish I'd been diagnosed in college instead of in my mid-30s. I might have graduated.
People like to throw around the word 'lazy' but it's more like I can't turn it on OR off unless I'm medicated. Once I'm in the zone I will work until I grow a beard, then wither away, then my crumbling skeleton grows a beard. It would be a powerful thing if I could aim it.