IDontHavePantsOn

Imagine owning a book. You know you can own words digitally now right? No need to cut down trees. Are we acting like paper is green now? Have we compared the amount of energy it takes to create a book in all its forms? It may be more entertaining to make a paper airplane, but digital airplanes last forever. So long as you renew your PaperAir 3d+ subscription monthly for $3.99. Maybe that's a bad analogy. Have you thought about using audible and closing your eyes? Ultimate dark mode. Have you tried to read a book while wiping your ass? For the disabled this can spell disaster. Agatha Christie may be to blame for death of countless fictional debutants, but what if she killed in real life as well? What if she killed in the future? It's the perfect crime. Potentially killing thousands of people just trying to clean their bottoms while holding onto the murder weapon, which is her own words. Have we talked about ink color yet? Well I forgot why that was important. All I know is Agatha needs to pay for her modern sins. I say we sue her estate for all its worth. Maybe then the dark and the light readers can all get along.

Was this fun to read? Probably not, but was it fun to write? You'll have to ask Agatha about that.

Sounds like a good deal for a couple nerds.

Tell them you have a family emergency.

I'm all for the continued symbolism of marriage so rings are cool in my book. It's still a serious commitment. The jewelery business however is a glittering turd with blood embroidery.

I bought placeholder rings from Walmart for maybe $20 -$30.

I upgraded to a much nicer $10 tungsten ring from Amazon.

I upgraded my wife's band and engagement ring to a handmade 14k Gold and moisanite combo from Etsy that was somehow cheaper than if I had made the rings myself. Must have some good connections, idk.

Either way, do your marriage how you want. Symbolize it how you want. I just want 8% of your gross income afterwards. It's only fair. I mean I just basically saved you twice that amount.

"His favorite movie? is books!"

Just tell your family some stranger on the Internet said no. They should understand.

I'm not divorced. I just like writing satire surrounding my personal opinions. Also, I personally stop every wedding I can. I want my wife and I to be the only married couple on earth.

I just looked it up and it was actually $40. All in all mine cost around $80 including a couple cheap rings from Walmart and gas.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I hope we paid the notary since she stayed after work in city hall. She was a sweet lady. Since my wife and I just wanted to be done with it, she asked if we had any words and when we both said no she asked if she could and said a few sweet things and started crying when we said "I do".

Too much on weddings...

The USA government considers marriage a tax and law advantage. Thats all it is. A mutually agreed upon union to gain a capital advantage. Don't blow your savings to play dress up and get your family drunk. Don't throw a party for everyone.

Marry the one you love for the $35 marriage license and be done with it. You still end up being married, with tax benefits. Yes you won't have the memories of stressing yourself out just to go through with it, but you will still have your money, and a better chance at having a good life with your piece of shit spouse that only works to spend your remaining time and money driving you into the ground until you get the courage after 4 years to stand up and divorce them. Luckily for you, you saved a bunch of money to pay your lawyer.

I'm tired. Good night everyone.

You weren't replying to my comment, which is nowhere near this chain of comments, but I think you were targeting me. Your satire is too close to being serious. I declare that you're an idiot. Fight me now.

Agreed. I've bought various expensive pillows and was never comfy or satisfied. Memory foam hybrid cooling blah blah blah.... never comfy. I bought two down feather pillows for $50. Best pillows ever for me. Only reason I had to buy more was my wife kept stealing mine.