Not spacey at all, totally coherent. I appreciate you taking the time to write all of that out and share it with some stranger on the internet.
I don't find myself disagreeing with any of what you said. Confirmation bias is a bitch, and regrettably something that most of us are guilty of at some point. Instilling fear, hatred, or self-loathing in your children based solely on your own anecdotal evidence isn't right, and it's a shame that it's as prevalent as it is.
I guess where I might diverge in the context of the overarching post, and I'm not suggesting this is your position, but I don't believe the argument being posited is that men/boys in their entirety, or on the basis of them being men, are definitively dangerous and ought to be feared. I think that's how a lot of men end up taking it, myself included once upon a time. But as you put it, "most people donβt have the ability to access that world view as a normal part of thought", I think that's also true of men, and a big part of why this discussion is so contentious. It's hard for many of us to truly comprehend the scope of what being a woman in day to day life entails. The majority of us don't have to go through life worrying about being cat-called, followed home, sexually assaulted, having friends of the opposite sex constantly trying to turn it into "something more", and a plethora of other things. These things can and do happen to men too, of course, along with some unique problems of our own, but those men have as much a right to be angry and speak out about their abuse as women do.
For me, it's the disproportionality of it that's concerning, along with the regressive trend of either outright denying we have a problem on our hands, or attempting to silence and/or shame the people (men and women both) who speak out, because it's more comfortable not to look at it. Many seem to be content with throwing their hands up and saying "well, X, Y, and Z are already illegal, what more do you want us to do?", and that's simply not a viable path forward.
With that said, I certainly don't want anyone degrading themselves over traits that are entirely out of their hands... To any young men who may be reading this, or men who find themselves torn on the conversation because they feel perhaps the conversation has veered into outright bigotry:
There's nothing inherently wrong with you, you can be a tremendous force for good in the world, like so many other men before you, and anyone who claims otherwise can get fucked. And I'll admit I could be wrong here, but I'd wager that the majority of folks saying they'd "pick the bear" feel the same way... they're just tired, pissed off, and done mincing words with an uncaring world.
Be proud to be a man, own it, just bear in mind that there is a minority of us inflicting a tremendous amount of hurt and suffering in the world, on men and women alike. If we truly wish to be a force for good, then we have to be willing to rally against wrongdoing in any form, by any perpetrator, and not allow these things to proliferate out of complacency. I can understand if you're put off by the present discourse... don't get behind it for the sake of feminism, or some political ideology, do it because it's the right thing to do.
I mean the premise already feels a bit absurd, but I'll play...
I'm not a vegan myself, and I don't really hang out in vegan spaces that much, so my answers may differ from your typical vegan, or not... who knows. But I suppose if the general goal is to preserve life where possible, then you should absolutely try to find some place for the animals to live out their days in peace. If we can manage to stuff them all in neat little boxes on the land we have now, I doubt it's some intractable problem. You don't have to let 'em run free and "out of control" per se, repurpose the land of the now defunct factory farms and slaughterhouses, build a number of sanctuaries all over the place, and plop 'em there. Of course, no one can possibly know all of the variables involved, so I'm not saying this is a well thought out solution, I'm just spitballing... but we're not exactly hurting for land, to my knowledge.
However, suppose I granted you:
Why would that necessitate this outcome?
Veganism isn't some virus that physically prevents you from eating meat, and plenty of vegans have been meat eaters at some point in their lives. If it came down to it, I imagine there would be a steady supply of folks who would opt to revert temporarily instead of letting it go to waste. Vegans may disagree with me here, but I think it's certainly a more ethical choice if the animals are already dead, can't let the sacrifice be for nothing.
The vegan viewpoint on animals really just boils down to eliminating unnecessary suffering and death. Many are fine with the prospect of hunting, fishing, or raising livestock for food when there aren't other options (eg. environments with insufficient crop yields to feed everyone or infrastructure to get other food), the problem arises from the fact that those of us privileged enough to live in a land of abundance continue to needlessly slaughter. Do we need to eat? Of course. Do we need to kill things to do it? Fuck no.
All that said, I think a more realistic transition scenario would be something like the meat industry halting slaughter operations, exhausting their existing supply until either there are no animals left to kill, or there are a small enough quantity to where we can just yeet the rest onto some farms somewhere. Not that vegans would be entirely on board with that, being anti-slaughter and all, but it's at least a reduction in harm and a more believable way for things to play out... I think.