It has it's roots in actual letter writing, as in "I hope this letter finds you well".
this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2024
46 points (81.1% liked)
Asklemmy
43788 readers
859 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Iβm so dumb that for years I seriously thought that meant the actual communication makes it to the recipient without any issues.
thats a fair thought, not dumb.
i'm still confused by Rest In Peace. Do you mean I hope this skeleton/soul doesn't have anxiety? or that i hope the place the skeleton lays isn't at war?
It means that may your soul rest in peace, has nothing to do with the actual body lol.
More like, "Please don't get up and start eating people or sucking their blood."
To be fair, I'm certain that someone has written it with that as the intended meaning. It seems like the kind of passive aggressive thing some mannered British aristocrat would do.
I always wonder what this means. Does it mean "I hope this letter does a good job finding you, and you can subsequently read it" or does it mean "When this does find you, I hope it recognizes you are having a good day".
Stock boiler plate regardless and one of the best ways to convince the recipient you are a twat.
Neither. The recipient needs more water, and the letter may or may not find them a well to get water from.
Imagine a time before instant communications, where you have no idea how life has treated the recipient since you last saw them and it might take months for your letter to arrive. It is a sincere hope that they are well and that tradgedy has not befallen them.
It would be neurotic and unreasonable if your last update on their life was only days or even hours before, but in the days of letters hope is really all you had. It's just honest.
It just means you hope the recipient is well.
I started it in 1995 because I thought it would be nice to kind.
I read your original Usenet post in 1995 but, because you never used punctuation back then, I thought you were trying to say,
I hope you are, well...
and took it as passive aggressive. Long have I blamed you, internet stranger. Now I must beg your forgiveness and hope, if hope not be lost, that you yourself are, well, well.
I noticed a lot more people starting using it over the pandemic.
Annoying AF seems a tad hyperbolic, no?
Not at all. If it wasn't so bothersome I wouldn't have taken three minutes to post something about it. I hate it.
If this is all it takes to be annoying you either have the easiest time, or you're perpetually angry due to the most inconsequential shit.
More of the latter. When I'm dealing with the stress of due dates and troubleshooting things that aren't working a needed, having to read through literal paragraphs of platitudes only to find one sentence regarding the support request can certainly increase my blood pressure. Sometimes the verbiage is so full of shit that it just comes off as spammy. I've deleted emails from support agents thinking they were phishing attempts.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(11 replies)
At least it doesn't ask for a response, like "how are you" or "how's things?"
It's just an attempt to briefly acknowledge you're asking a human your questions, rather than an algorithm.
You're presumably capable of seeing and skipping the sentence without reading it, so go ahead. Nobody expects an answer, nor continued "courtesies" during back-and-forth replies.
Having thought about this, I think I will start using Ave like a Roman.
Ave Oxjox!
When people used to mail letters by post to stay in touch a common opening was "I hope this letter finds you well."
It carried over from that.
I use this when the tone of my email would otherwise be, where's my spreadsheet motherfucker?? It's nice to modify the overall tone of the email to something more friendly. I have a very curt writing style so I'm often concerned my emails will come off as blunt or demanding if I don't include a pleasantry.
I work in a very friendly, informal field so I find myself doing little pleasantries to fit in, email-wise.
I would love if my coworkers were more blunt and honest.
"Where the fuck is my spreadsheet" is very concise. It tells me what you want, it tells me what my responsibility is, and it probably tells me the level of priority the issue is for you. "whereβs my spreadsheet motherfucker" is similar but, depending on our relationship, I'd take that either far more seriously or more jokingly.
I have one guy I work with who speaks like this. He had to explain himself at first then I was like, yes please continue talking to me like a human. I'm more likely to trust people who don't hide behind pleasantries and are just themselves with me.
I think you're answering your own question here.
Your blunt coworker has to explain himself or risks being taken as rude by people who don't know him. You yourself couldn't determine if he was being rude to you without some additional context.
Without further context, you don't know how to interpret an email that says where is my spreadsheet motherfucker.
In both cases, you're saying further social cues are needed to determine if someone you don't know very well is being rude or not. Hence, why people emailing people they don't know very well in a professional capacity include niceties to convey context and tone.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I canβt find this specific sentence in my inbox. So I guess there are some variations. Itβs just the same platitudes as people asking βhowβs it goingβ when greeting people. Itβs a weird form of politeness Iβll never really understand, but is just there. Itβs futile to try and change this, IMHO.
I always feel like the odd one out because I genuinely want to know these things and people just tend to brush it off ...
Dear OP, ~~I hope you and your family and friends and relatives and co-workers are well~~
To nip it in the bud it's entirely the influence of the overly polite English and since Brexit this has deteriorated (de-Tory-ated). Just saying π
Dear Tulip Fucker,
I'd like to express my dismay that...
After some trepidation I'll confess that I find these "hope you are well" also annoying though it depends who the sender is. What I find more annoying are the "OK, boomer" comments on the Internet. I mean what can you say after such a reply ?
OK, Boomer.
That's the intended effect -- a condescending dismissal of being condescendingly dismissed. Not much you can say to a clear sign of disengagement.
load more comments
(1 replies)
One thing that I've found with junior staff is that they feel a need to be overly nice in their correspondence without realizing the interaction takes time.
I'm decades beyond being junior staff and I'm always nice in my emails. I don't care how long it takes.
I'm 1(one) decade beyond, and I'm super short and direct with a hint of familiarity. It also works, because it feels humble. It is humble, because you can't hide any second meaning behind "I do this, you do that, okay?"
load more comments
(2 replies)
Itβs just a salutation. A pleasantry. Itβs a formal way of opening a correspondence. Itβs considered polite. You donβt need to put one if you donβt want to, but if your message is terse, it can come across as rude.
I've only seen it as a statement someone adds to an email when they haven't contacted you in awhile.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I blame AI. I notice ChatGPT is always trying to put that into my emails. Maybe because of that, I'm also noticing it in lots of emails I get.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Pretty sure nobody has any real idea how to send text correspondence anymore.
Like, I work in a building 10+ miles away from my boss and often communication is done through text, email, occasionally by voice, but almost never in person.
Every time I send a work email to my boss/coworkers, I find myself staring at the screen wondering..."Wait, is there any particular way to start these things? 'Dear So-n-So' is really weird. 'First/Last Name' seems fine unless I'm sending the email to multiple people, which happens pretty regularly. Would just jump straight into the body of the text, but that seems... wrong somehow... and potentially confusing if an email address is not something that is human readable or mixed in with a list of email addresses."
Eventually I just bang something out and figure, whatever, its not like 90% of my emails seem to get read by anybody anyways.
If I'm sending it to one person I'll open with "First," or "Hey/Hi First,". For multiple people, "Hello,".
I like to get to the point and hope to influence others to do the same. I have other coworkers who send me messages in Teams that literally just say "Hello". I mean, come on. You're going to distract me with "Hello" and not ask me a question? I'm not responding to Hello or even can I ask you something. Of course you can ask me something, that's what I'm here for and that's why we have the ability to communicate with each other. Spit it out kid!
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next βΊ