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Special ability: don't give a fuck (feddit.nl)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Image description: Pokemon card showing an agressive goose. Powerups: Intimidate, can only be activated during spring. Show those heretics who’s boss. Deal 1 extra damage for each month the opponent has been out of combat. Shit everywhere, you only eat grass but you are not very good at digesting grass. Deal 20 extra damage to opponents using the picnic card. Weakness: Neck grab Resistance: Fear Extra description: The perfect counter to the park habitat. Eat grass, shit on seats, multiply, fly away from fuckery.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Some idiot decided it would be a good idea to set up apartments buildings all around artificial ponds that serve absolutely no purpose but to look pretty and be breeding grounds for both mosquitoes and these obnoxious bastards. No skating in the winter, no swimming in the summer, maybe fishing but I doubt they're stocked with anything. Yet still, early morning, late night, mid afternoon; every waking moment of my life is plagued by canadian geese honking and shitting everywhere only to prove that they are the loudest creature in the vicinity.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Beautifully written. Your words are what millions of people across North America are thinking.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Ah, the cobra chicken. A majestic beast.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

My people!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Yes! Their shit looks like something that was pulled out of a clogged lawn mower.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Fuck these monsters. Government won’t even let the homeless eat these little monsters, so they have no dignity and purpose beyond harassing good-natured citizens.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (2 children)

If you've got a problem with Canada gooses you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

I guess I better figure it out…

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Lemmykenny

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Plus if you fuck with them, the Letterkenny gang is coming for you.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No retreat cost. This person Pokémons.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Ya got me

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

My dog shows no fear of geese, and will gladly scare them away for me. Easy passage for me, and another weakness for them. No barks needed, just a determined sprint.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I worked at a large corporate campus with water ponds and fountains all over, but in the spring, the geese would do all the stuff on the card. They hired a guy with two German Shepherds who would stroll around and let his dogs do what dogs do and there were no geese after a short while. I wanted his job. Also, the dogs looked about as happy as dogs can be.