this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Even the olive, while not liquid, is kinda mushy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is a dehydrated olive a thing? I hate olives with a passion, but maybe that’s a thing my wife would like.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

When you get them on pizza they are kinda dried out, so I imagine so?

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I ordered a mudslide from that guy and there wasn't a bit of mud in it

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

Well yeah, it slid off...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"I'll have a screwdriver"

"Sir, Home Depot is two blocks over."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

"one hurricane please"

"This is Nevada, try New Orleans"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't even get me started about sex on the beach.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I ordered a blowjob and just got slapped across the face

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, duh, to make a dry martini, you are suppose to dry all the liquid ingredients in a tumble dryer first before you mix them, of course.

Why else do you think James Bond always asks for his "dry" vodka martini to be "shaken, not stirred"?

Source: former bartender and current frontrunner to replace Daniel Craig as James Bond

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

As you obviously understand the best way to properly dry a martini (what kind of loon would line dry the component liquids), you have my vote!

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

I was wondering this too, so I looked it up

From Google:

First, 'dry' indicates that very little vermouth has been added to the cocktail, so the gin is the primary focus. The typical ratio is 6 parts gin to 1 part vermouth. However, order 'extra dry' and you'll get the slightest splash of vermouth, or even just a glass-coating wash.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When talking about alcoholic drinks, "dry" is just the opposite of sweet. Vermouth has a slight sweetness to it, so use less vermouth to make the drink "dry".

Personally I like my martinis "dirty" (extra olive juice), with a good amount of vermouth. Sweet and salty with the floral notes of the gin in the background. If I wanted to just taste the gin then I'd put it in a shot glass and drink it straight instead.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I just want to second the dirty gin martini.

I've never been a fan of the martini, but dirty gin is excellent.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Alcohol culture...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Gin, you want gin in a fancy glass

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Wave a sealed bottle of vermouth near it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Slow your roll there, cowboy!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

It's just the mouth parts of animals like rats and stuff.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Type of fortified (i.e. with added spirits) wine flavored with herbs

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think it is fairly foul. It doesn’t seem to add much to cocktails and adds a bitter aftertaste.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That is a feature, not a bug

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

My city has a "no straight spirits" rule for bars, it's a failed attempt to stop binge drinking

So I would order whisky on the rocks, hold the ice

Were I a gin fan it would be a "perfectly dry martini"

The bar staff agree the rule is stupid and are usually happy to work around them. Binge drinking in bars hardly happens anyway as it is too expensive, we have very high alcohol taxes, except on wine.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

My buddy went to the bar at university and asked for a manhattan to see what they'd do, they handed him a bud light.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pro tip: Use molten lava. Lava is a liquid, but I don't think anyone describes it as "wet".

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Lava doesn't adhere to a surface like water, it won't climb the walls of it container slightly. That is to say, it won't wet a surface, like water or flux will.

At least I don't think any kinds of lava or magma do. Maybe there's a variety that does?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Water is just the lava of ice.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Maybe there’s a variety that does?

Magma from borax, lime, or galena? All are definitely minerals and definitely fluxes.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Idiot. You're supposed to mix a nartinit, drink it, and give her the dry glass. Bro probably just cock blocked himself.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

When your dick is a non-orientable, self-intersecting manifold.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

As a bartender this is always a fun one when training lol. Perfect teaching moment.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Martini, extra dry, wet on the side, gaseous and plasma forms in secure containers.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

If it's not on the side, I'll send it back.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Add additional liquids to make a liquor dry. It's practically chemistry!