this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2023
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Autism

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[–] [email protected] 84 points 11 months ago (4 children)

ADHD isn't functioning in chaos. It's causing chaos while functioning.

Big difference.

If you have ADHD you should make special efforts to keep your place cleaner than average, at least in my experience.

It's a lot easier to manage stimulation when you have things tidy. It's just extra effort to get there.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (4 children)

But then how do I remember the things I need to do if they are not all over the place? (I don't even know if I'm joking)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"Out of sight, out of mind" is often said as a good thing, but for people like me, it's chaos. I love it when desk, desktop and inbox are tidy because that means that I have nothing to do or worry about.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

My life is a never ending whirlwind of fast forward because of this, leaving so much unfinished behind

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I would love to hear more of this wonderful fairy tale...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have 2 categories of things:

Resources and Reminders.

Resources are always put away. When I'm working on a project my mind can easily recall where a resource is. I can then track it down. Things like specific bolts, old Ethernet plugs etc all get packed up out of the way.

Reminders can never be hidden. Things like my keys and wallet are easy examples, but reminders also include that book I want to read next or that coding project I wanted to work on. Reminders are always front and center on my desktop, they're right by the door (sometimes on hangers attached to the door in the case of wedding rings) and I don't forget them because they're obvious.

So things you need to do? Reminder category. Set calendar events for the things that need temporal reminders, or have to be put away.

Resources? Keep them out of sight.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

My system may not work for you: make changes and make it yours.

But as a kid with raging ADHD diagnosed at 8 and never been medicated: this is how I function, and it works well.

It drives me nuts when I visit my mother's house (also raging ADHD) because it's chaos everywhere.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I know that you think you might be but I also suspect you aren't.

"How can I find anything in all this order?!?"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

That's exactly me. I have an organized mess!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

my room is "clean" but my personal adhd clean where i put something somewhere because im a genius thatll remember it and then i look where it should be and its not there and im like well shit i guess its gone until i stumble upon it right where i needed it.

not until after i spend 30 minutes looking not where i needed it.

sometimes i completely clean my space and then ill stop thinking about it and kinda go about my day and suddenly 4 different unrelated activities are on my desk.

i just watched memento for a class and i kinda feel like the guy in memento except to a much much lesser degree

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

When it comes to resources if I look somewhere and don't find it then I'll be sure to place it where I first looked on cleanup.

It usually amounts to a chaotic system with only a marginal amount of sorting but it's all out of sight most importantly.

The visual noise of things everywhere is maddening.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Yeah, I find it’s much easier to keep everything immaculate than it is to make my place kinda tidy.

I find that if there’s one object on the side that needs to be put away, it might as well be eight objects. So I’m either in a mindset where I put every single item away or none.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If you have ADHD you should make special efforts to keep your place cleaner than average, at least in my experience.

Sorry, but no. If my place is tidy I'll manage to trash it before making breakfast. If it's not that tidy it'll stay that's way.

I thrive in chaos. Too controlled and I'll start intentionally wreck shit just for a hint of dopamine, too chaotic and I'll start organising things (again, dopamine).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

In 33 years that's what functions best for me and the other ADHDers I know.

But it's far more of a spectrum disease than people think and there are a ton of flavors to ADHD.

Ymmv.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Not all autistics function well with order.

They function well when the baseline world around them maintains predictability.

But contrary to others on the spectrum, they do really badly with rigid schedules and rules to follow.

I am one of those.

When busses don't ride on time, I'm anxious, even if I don't take the bus.

But for the love of God don't force me into any sort of schedule because it'll run me of the rails.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

If things are orderly then they're predictable.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I LOVE other things on a schedule, me on a schedule is a day ruining mental drain that gets me all spun out.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

I love how at the time if me answering there are exactly two replies one telling OP that their statement about ADHD is inaccurate and one telling OP that their statement about autism is inaccurate.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Canned psychologist answer to any absolute statement about ADHD or ASD: "it depends" and "sometimes but not always".

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No.

The problem is that the more obvious autists are those who everyone bases their knowledge on while the less obvious ones, that are like me do not in any way have the same needs.

This stereotype is what makes life shit for people like me. Because people make assumptions about them that are directly opposed to what their actual needs are.

And I'd say that most autistics that function on a level where they can live on their own, get married and work are more like me than the classic view of autism.

As the classic view of autism is expressly based on the easily detectable cases that can't even take care of themselves.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

We gotta tell people that Fred Jones from Mystery Incorporated is autistic. He's the perfect representation.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Almost like they're diagnoses of exclusion in more than a few cases...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

I would do the same tbh

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Cries in AuDHD and working in the food industry

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

It kinda balances out enough that I went 36 years without knowing or suspecting anything was truly wrong with me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Having both, idk, it's like I have to expect chaos to be okay with it. Like, I take my ADHD spouse on a date and I expect they'll want to spontaneously go places, and I'll be okay with that. If I'm driving home on a routine grocery run and they suddenly call and want takeout... I have to calm myself.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

At the very least, rolling with it or especially having someone roll with what you have to throw at them/the world has to be somewhat rewarding.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Imagine functioning... lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

My one day already past 😞

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

It’s a pipe dream isn’t it? SOMEDAY…

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Oh hey I'm in this one!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I function some of the time.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

"chaos is order yet undeciphered"