this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Fun story:

When Pope Paul III heard that Michelangelo had finished the top part of the wall and was removing scaffolding, he came immediately to see the progress. His reaction was to fall to his knees and pray. The Pope's Master of Ceremonies, Biagio da Cesena, had also come to view The Last Judgement, and his reaction was to call it disgraceful! Da Cesena thought the multitude of nudes were sacrilegious, and he predicted that the wall would someday be destroyed.

Pope Paul III was astonished and angry, and he said that he'd excommunicate anyone who touched the wall.

Almost immediately, Michelangelo had an assistant stucco the lower right corner of the wall, and he painted da Cesena as Minos, the judge of Hades. Word got back to da Cesena and he demanded another visit, with the Pope in tow. Here, I quote from Irving Stone:

"You see, Holy Father," cried the Master of Ceremonies, "the report was true. Buonarroti has painted me into the fresco. With some kind of repulsive serpent for my genitalia."

"It's a covering," replied Michelangelo. "I knew you would not want to be portrayed wholly naked."

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 years ago

"We're all out of Fig Leaf Green...!"

*Cracks knuckles.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago (2 children)

nice 'n tiny limp dicks too

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Pretty sure that was the ideal of male beauty, back in the day.

No dick-shamin'.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

I mean flaccid dicks are small. And for fucks sake I'm glad they are. Could you imagine having to walk and maneuver yourself with a permanently massive shlong?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Could you imagine having to walk and maneuver yourself with a permanent massive shlong?

Boy, that's a loaded question.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

It is indeed a burden.

(I mean, I'm all of 5'8" and 138lbs., at least the good lord gave me something.)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

wow 5’8” is quite the schlong

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I'd hate to be the goddess of virility and have a permanent erection.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

goddess

erection

Hmmmm....

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

Ok, goddess of virility made my day. TY

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Read into the differences of blood penises vs. meat penises. ( But don't do a picture search. Google misinterprets that terribly.)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

My schlong can be as large as I want it to be... usually I go with the much more manageable 4" trouser snake. Anything bigger is just awkward.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Uhh, have you seen the sistine chapel? Those boys are hung!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Look up the story of how he painted the Sistine Chapel. Madlad legit took no bullshit from the pope despite being commissioned by him, and the pope being the most powerful person in Europe at the time.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

There's been no group in history more focused on penises than religious men. I'm sure they're fine with it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

There’s a Vincent Van Scoff joke in here somewhere.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

I remember reading somewhere that he actually painted the ceiling in a standing position

https://www.history.com/news/7-things-you-may-not-know-about-the-sistine-chapel

Lots of fun facts