Asklemmy

Alcohol isn't everyone's friend, I was an alcoholic at 18, and refused to acknowlege that fact and kept denying it in the face of all the evidence. When I finally asked for help and quit drinking at 45, I realised how much of a mess I'd made of my life. Thankfully I've been sober since (going on 7 years now). Addiction is not a joke people.

Pardon my language, though I heard this in an interview with Jimmy Carr, and it rather highlights this for me quite well:
I'm paraphrasing, though it was something like "if you've seen five cunts before noon, you're the cunt".

The biggest pill was that I am not intelligent. I was just studious and invested enough time to pass exams. People not doing what they should do is not them being stupid but me not grasping the full picture.

The second biggest pill that I am still swallowing is that I am not a good person. I try to behave in a good way, but it's manipulative and not authentic. People don't like goodness if it doesn't come from the heart.

That trauma is not an identity and if I want to grow as a person I have to resolve that trauma and let go of the past.

When people told me I was smart as a child/young adult, what they really meant was I was showcasing a skill they lacked, which the overwhelming majority of people don't give a shit about an adult having.

It was an incredibly large antibiotic pill because I didn’t want to shower (it took away from reading) and I got impetigo.

Yes... quitting all your jobs and becoming homeless is much better then getting abused 80 hours a week by your 3 employers

But there can be a better way.

I realized at about 20 that I can really hurt people by trying to whitewash reality and sweep the bad away.

I also have a hard time making friends and then maintaining those relationships. Would like to get better, but apparently not enough to actually do so? We'll see. Life is searching.

Just because I've been in relationships for years doesn't mean I'm any good at them 😬

That I come from a highly dysfunctional family and my entire personality is a reaction to them. I knew they were dysfunctional but I was in denial about their impact. Connecting with my true self had been a bitch.

I'm a bitter, angry, mfer and I need to chill out sometimes

I gotta spend less time on lemmy

I was causing most of my own problems by having too many expectations that weren’t actually necessary

The realization of how truely alone I am when everything started collapsing after our house was sold and how my parents who supposedly were suppose to love me, don't love me and how I do have daddy issues because of this and I am not exactly as strong mentally as I thought of myself to be.

I've started noticing that I'm echoing some of the bad habits of my father, either behaviorally or genetically, I'm not sure which. I'm determined to never go down that path because I've seen what it's done to our family. I've made some changes that will hopefully head that off. If those don't help, there's always professional help.

Still, depressing to realize.

I need to get a grip when driving and not let others upset me so easily.