Solid post, froge approved.

I wake up not hungry. I do wake up with an unnatural tendency to want a coffee before a shower, which is definitely a sign of addiction. But food is not a motivator for me to get out of bed

The problem is that most people who have casual conversations about quantum physics are just jerking each other off. They're trying to impress each other by being able to describe ideas that other people came up with.

It's kind of like when a parent thinks that their kid is a genius for being able to use an ipad. The talented people were the UI designers of the iPad, not the kid.

The time machine guy is at least trying to be funny.

Me and the lady say that about getting to the weekend quicker. It's a fun thing to think of :)

Unless you sleep in the afternoon

Being long term unemployed, I would sometimes think of sleep as a low energy state until the next welfare cheque. But also being drunk fulfilled the same purpose.

Never had a frog for breakfast. Is that grape jelly inside?

My brain automatically read that in Keanu Reeves’s character from the movie Parenthood.

Bill and Ted’s might also work though.