i’ll be happy with “just do better than i did”
this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2025
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I am instilling in mine 1) a deeply-held belief that their worth is entirely measured by their income, and 2) the unarguable truth that each generation must ensure the comfort and well-being of their parents.
I call it my pension plan.
Love the approach! I would also teach them to address me and my partner as Sire & Ma‘am, if they get good grades in school temporarily they’re allowed to say father and mother.
You maniac! Always drop to Mater and Pater before you go Mother and Father!
Don't forget the iron fist
Not in the USA
Fair
They learn far more by watching than by listening. If you want to have great kids, be a great person. That was where I failed them.
Beyond that, responsibility and intellectual curiosity and independent thought. I mostly nailed that last one... those little assholes never listen to me even when I have receipts—it has to be receipts they give a damn about. I couldn't be more proud, but they are difficult.
Empathy and curiosity
And some whimsy! But maybe that's covered by curiosity
Everyone says they want their kids to be happy but acts as if it is more important for their kids to be professionally successful.
I want my kid to be successful enough to be independent and then put any additional emphasis on enjoying life.
Yep ain't that the truth! Behaviour shows they care about professional progression not welfare
I'm not planning on having children but if I did I'd raise them with the assumption that their personality is almost entirely determined by nature, not nurture and as a parent my role would be to support them and enable them the opportunity to try things out that they are interested in. I wouldn't try to steer them in any particular direction.
I do think some steering is necessary. I have long conversation with my partner on it. Since I was born full of hate and anger it took years to separate it from myself and focus it on evil people instead of everything. It requires heavy logic based thinking to not let your emotions play yourself. Because the hate give false clarity and direction. Its only when it fades that I realize how dumb actions where.
Better to raise poison ivy or mr.freeze than joker.
I would teach them skills in vetting each situation that even the "enlightened" minds here so often lack. You probably know who I mean.