this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2024
70 points (93.8% liked)

Risa

6899 readers
101 users here now

Star Trek memes and shitposts

Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Hello, I work with numerous humans. Navigating their emotionality is quite haphazardous at times, and today I have seemingly transgressed on my colleague "Mike".

I have observed for numerous months that Mike appeared to be attempting a science experiment of sorts. It was a lacto-bacilli fermentation but I was unsure to what end. Mike had repurposed many parts of his meals and placed them into a sealed container to make something called "Kombucha". I am familiar with many fermented human foods, however I was unsure that Mike would achieve a favorable result. When asked why he didn't use the replicator for his "kombucha", he said it's not the same. I am still attempting to understand his logic as it quite literally would be the same.

Nevertheless, I have kept a careful eye on the fermentation, and as it's entered it's third month I noticed signs of bacterial and fungal contamination. Believing the dish to be clearly compromised, I safely discarded of it with the proper biohazard precautions. However, Mike is now irate, saying I ruined his lunch and that he likes it, "chunky but soft". I do not follow his logic. AIBI?

Edit: I see now I was being illogical. I should have thrown away both the "kombucha" and Mike.

top 13 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 66 points 9 months ago (3 children)

YBI

The correct procedure if you thought the experiment posed an imminent danger to the crew would have been to erect a force field around the container until any ill effects could be scientifically determined.

You also violated Starfleet protocols which require us to not interfere with developing cultures.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 9 months ago

You also violated Starfleet protocols which require us to not interfere with developing cultures.

image

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I'm not certain that it was the type of culture you're thinking of. and i didn't want to put a force field around the fridge. i have stuff in there too.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

YBI still.

Transporting the container to the medical bay or science lab would permit the use of force fields whose emitters can be highly focused, permitting containment of the container in question without interfering with the lunches of you or your other crewmates. I’m not sure what emitter configurations are available in your mess hall, but the labs clearly are able to handle such and do so regularly.

We also have learned through unfortunate and perhaps overly-repeated experiences to not make assumptions about unknown cultures. I can’t even recall the number of captain’s logs I’ve read where little blinking lights or some weird rock thing or glowing space object turned out to be intelligent.

I think you are required to document the incident and report it to your commanding officer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Just replicate yourself your own damn fridge

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

Yes. Kombucha is a actively fermenting beverage. It has microorganisms in it that contribute to its flavor. When you consume kombucha, you also consume the microorganisms. This cannot be replicated because as you know there are strict rules about using the replicators to create living organisms.

This was their project. You should have assumed that they had knowledge of what was happening and asked them about it as opposed to putting it in the matter reclamator.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

YBI.

I do not believe you did an objectively wrong thing when discarding your human coworker"s concoction. However, it is a fact that you do not understand their culture, you admitted so yourself. It is therefore illogical to take any action regarding his lunch without his consent. In addition, humans are emotional creatures, and may not react favorably to your intrusions, no matter how logical they may be.

The logical thing to have done would have been to raise this issue to your coworker once you noticed it, taking with you your evidence that it would pose a health hazard to him and to the crew. Tossing it without his consent should be your last resort to protect the crew's health.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

I make an attempt to understand human culture as much as possible. See the note about how I have tried many fermented human foods.

I do not understand Mike.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No, you’re protecting the health of your fellow crew. It’s all fun and games till until it becomes mobile, irate and hungry

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Given Mike's absentmindedness, I do believe this was a very real possibility.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

YBI. When dealing with emotional humanoids, you must remember "WWJD" - "What would Janeway do?"

That is obvious - she'd set phasers to kill and eliminate the kombucha AND Mike.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I accept your logic and see the error of my ways. Thank you.