this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2024
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Risa

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Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.

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Hello, I work with numerous humans. Navigating their emotionality is quite haphazardous at times, and today I have seemingly transgressed on my colleague "Mike".

I have observed for numerous months that Mike appeared to be attempting a science experiment of sorts. It was a lacto-bacilli fermentation but I was unsure to what end. Mike had repurposed many parts of his meals and placed them into a sealed container to make something called "Kombucha". I am familiar with many fermented human foods, however I was unsure that Mike would achieve a favorable result. When asked why he didn't use the replicator for his "kombucha", he said it's not the same. I am still attempting to understand his logic as it quite literally would be the same.

Nevertheless, I have kept a careful eye on the fermentation, and as it's entered it's third month I noticed signs of bacterial and fungal contamination. Believing the dish to be clearly compromised, I safely discarded of it with the proper biohazard precautions. However, Mike is now irate, saying I ruined his lunch and that he likes it, "chunky but soft". I do not follow his logic. AIBI?

Edit: I see now I was being illogical. I should have thrown away both the "kombucha" and Mike.

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 9 months ago (3 children)

YBI

The correct procedure if you thought the experiment posed an imminent danger to the crew would have been to erect a force field around the container until any ill effects could be scientifically determined.

You also violated Starfleet protocols which require us to not interfere with developing cultures.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 9 months ago

You also violated Starfleet protocols which require us to not interfere with developing cultures.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I'm not certain that it was the type of culture you're thinking of. and i didn't want to put a force field around the fridge. i have stuff in there too.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

YBI still.

Transporting the container to the medical bay or science lab would permit the use of force fields whose emitters can be highly focused, permitting containment of the container in question without interfering with the lunches of you or your other crewmates. I’m not sure what emitter configurations are available in your mess hall, but the labs clearly are able to handle such and do so regularly.

We also have learned through unfortunate and perhaps overly-repeated experiences to not make assumptions about unknown cultures. I can’t even recall the number of captain’s logs I’ve read where little blinking lights or some weird rock thing or glowing space object turned out to be intelligent.

I think you are required to document the incident and report it to your commanding officer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Just replicate yourself your own damn fridge