this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2025
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Despite the fact I would like to be cremated, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what to put on my epitaph.
Hier ruhen meine Gebeine,
ich wünscht es wären Deine.
Here lie my bones,
I wish yours would lie here instead.
I always say I want mine to read "He died the way he lived" and then say how I died. The less sense it makes the better.
Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I’ll be back.
Vigo the Carpathian knew how to spit some bars.
“What do you want on your tombstone?”
“Pepperoni and sausage.”
My epitaph is going to be an LLM bot, trained on every email and social media post I've ever made, that every day responds to between 3 and 6 posts or post comments; and picks a random topic based on the Lemmy communities to which I'm subscribed and posts a single random toot on ActivityPub.
And, besides, I believe Lemmy should have reactions.
If this happened to me I wonder if people would know that I had died.
I'm not sure that's a great idea in my case. A lot of my online activity is me talking about weird sex acts or ploughing femboys or joking about masturbating with probiotic yoghurt to treat yeast infections. So I'm pretty sure my kids don't want to interact with that jaded fucking LLM.
I think it would be hilarious to connect a speaker to your grave and have the LLM say in a really gravily voice "hmmm sure do love a femboy bussy..." at 2am
🤣
But of it's the real you... and I'm sure that most kids are aware of the stuff their parents think they're being sneaky about. I did.
I thought my online comments were weird (they probably are but let whatever the bias is cause effect)
... How ya doin?
😘
"Confusion."
Spotted the King Crimson enjoyer.
no one enjoys King Crimson, you just let the existential despair wash over you until it decides to let you go
"I'm not dead! Stop this thing! What's going on?! AAAAAHHHH!"