Your soap always has a pubic hair on it when you get in the shower, even though you took it off last time.

Mobile phone screen protectors always have a bubble with a grain of sand in it.

Bike tire is always slowly leaking, but there is no discernable puncture.

Mobile phone volume controls are always next to the power button so whenever you want to adjust the volume, you lock the screen instead.

Kitchen sink drains slowly.

Petrol tank in the lawn mower and your petrol can are always empty when you need to cut the grass, so you have to go buy more before you can mow the lawn.

Whipper snipper line keeps breaking within 10s of starting, due to your awful couch grass.

Doorbell battery is always flat.

Driveway camera alerts always come through just as the delivery person is driving away with the package you needed to sign for.

Clothing on sale is always too small or too big.

Any clothes that fit when you buy them shrink in the wash.

Smoke alarm low battery chirps always start in the middle of the night, and you don't have any replacement batteries. Also, they are randomly between 5 and 10 minutes apart so it takes a long time to find which one has the low battery.

Your bread loaf is always mouldy before your weekly grocery shop.

When you want to eat them, bananas and avocados are always unripe, or all brown inside.

Apples have a 50% chance to be floury inside but you can't tell until you bite.

The person next to you on the train always has a cold.

Bus timetables don't line up with train timetables.

Red light cycles are timed so you get the red on each intersection unless you exceed the speed limit.

The sun is always low in the sky and in your eyes (directly or in the mirror), while driving to and from work.

Supermarket workers always give you the product that expires earliest when you order groceries for pickup.

You can never seem to remember where you parked your car and you wander a parking garage for eternity

The bimetallic strip in your rice cooker is always slightly off no matter how much you fiddle with it.

You're always stuck behing a tractor on small roads.

Your text editor randomly uses a whitespace character whenever you press space.

Everything is lighted with slightly old fluorescent tubes.

Obviously pointless deskwork and frequent sync meetings that always include non technical stakeholders.

Everyone sleeps on wonky old futons that haven't been properly maintained.

Food deserts.

Everyone lives in old non sound insulated krushchevkas with loud neighbours.

The landscape is an infinitely repeated template of an excessively concretised city.

Constant warm overcast weather with high humidity and still wind.

Everyone is always slightly sleep deprived.

The water is always slightly too chlorinated and it doesn't evaporate.

Every time you eat something, some food getd stuck in your teeth and you can't get it out for hours.

Washing dishes, the cloth is always dirty

Every time you undo your seatbelt, the belf doesn't retract properly and you have to fiddle with it for ages, if you try getting out of the car you just get tangled in it

You always pick the slowest line to queue in

The chance of you biting your cheek is 51% each time you eat and you are guaranteed to keep biting the same place for max recovery time

Every charging cable you use has a loose connection that isn’t evident until later when you need to use your device and the battery is dead

After you sneeze, the need to burp or fart raises greatly. You also don't have control over which one will happen.

Infinite phone tree - Any choice takes you to the next menu tree but 50% chance to take you back to the start. The second menu tree just leads to an infinite array of phone menu trees, each with a 50% chance to go back to the beginning.

Or,

The land moves around at random. Your house (and everyone elses) might be somewhere one day, and in an hours time it's somewhere else. Good luck making a map.

Infinite data entry

Heck only has public toilets.

The stall door squeaks really loud.

The gaps between the door and the wall are nearly half an inch.

There's always skid marks in the bowl and the last person didn't flush.

There's piss dribbles on the seat.

The toilet paper dispenser gives out individual sheets by cranking a knob on the side.

The knob is hard to turn, and sticky.

There's a small puddle of piss on the floor between your feet where you drop your dacks.

You are only wearing socks because shoes are illegal in heck.

You have 4 minutes each day to do your poos.

They allocate your poo schedule, not you.

If you go over your allocated time, the floor opens up and you fall into actual hell.

In actual hell, you only get 2 minutes a day on the toilet.

Every scratch ticket is a winner, but the prize is always less than the cost of the scratch ticket.

every time there is a pause to what you listen to or think about, a random laugh track in your head follows after a short but unpredictable delay.

one of your nostrils is always clogged and runny. it can switch sides after some seconds of relief.

All gum sold has been chewed already

You're very tired nodding off and keep rereading the same page of a book over and over

When cooking, everything is always undercooked, until it's suddenly overcooked.

Every device you have will stuck in a boot loop forever.

A single ear bud is always violently yanked out of one ear just before your favorite part of the song. There are no wireless earbuds, just the old cheapy wired kind with those black, foamy covers.

Every toilet clogs and overflows the water

Tinnitus