Asklemmy

Marmite crumpets shouldn't exist!

What other cosmic horrors are you creating in your kitchen‽

The bed!

1. Chip Butty
2. Crisp Sandwich made with Sandwich Spread.

Buckwheat kasha, you won't find it even in a Slavic restaurant. It is a simple dish of cooked buckwheat and milk, with sugar added if one desires. Such a simple breakfast dish is sold nowhere to my knowledge.

Peanut butter toast

trypophobia image

Coffee. I used to be a coffee fiend, I drank up to 12-13 cups a day, and only stopped because it was worsening my anxiety. I live in a coffee producing country and learnt how to make a good cup in an espresso machine, even got all the doodads to make the process standardized and get the exact same cup every time.

I can only drink coffee made by select hands now. Everything else tastes like jet fuel, and it's worse when travelling.

Batmobiles. Lots of companies sell Batmobile toys, no companies sell Batmobiles.

Vegemite and raspberry jam (“jelly“) on toast. Probably works on crumpets too.

While you can go to a restaraunt/cafe and buy pancakes. I havent found a premade packet version that just needs warming up that isnt absolute shit.

Give me fresh or give me death!

Brother, we have all of those ingredients everywhere. We have a little British store run by expats who could get whatever packaged crumpet you use. Shit, I can make a batch of crumpets in about 15 minutes.

It's not like a crazy recipe that needs balanced flavors to be done right. Like I've never had a good poutine outside of Quebec. It's always sad beige gravy with the wrong seasonings or mozzarella or frozen fries or all of the above. It is never right.

What we can also talk about is local places making local dishes but they do it wrong and cheap or "good enough" and people come from abroad and try the dishes and think they're mid because they went to the wrong place.

TL;DR: I love poutine.

/Rant

Children.

Food I want to eat

This question is very regional, so I could list a ton of things. For instance since I'm not in the UK, crumpets would be on my list (send me some please).

Stuffing and mashed potatoes.

Most places have their stuffing way to moist. I want stuffing, not bread that looks like it was dropped in water. Boxed stuffing shouldn't even be sold. It tastes like garbage.

Get some bread. Tear it up. Let it dry. Add some chicken broth. Add some seasoning. That means go to store and buy the different seasonings. Like garlic powder. Sage, thyme, etc.

Then put it on the oven. The moisture comes from gravy.

Mashed potatoes... Yeah most times people add way to much to the mashed potatoes.

Edit and for the gravy that means you make a chicken or a turkey you get the broth and you make the gravy.

Avocado shake, at least in the western world. Unless you come across one at an asian shake/milktea shop, and even then, that menu item is rare.