this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 72 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. He can't feel the next- [CRACK]

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Isn't Santa omniscient? He should already know where the presents are, so he must be a sadist.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

Santa isn't omniscient. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. We can infer from this phrasing that he can't see you when you're awake. He also knows if you've been bad or good but that information isn't as specific.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (4 children)

What if I upload my consciousness to the internet, then ran that through a VPN and Tor and iP2P and all that, think I could shake him?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

You need to be behind 7 proxies to evade him

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Fake: basically VPNs with more steps

Gay: behind

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oh shit, you figured me out

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I'm good with secrets.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You can't even shake Facebook or Google that way. How do you expect it to work against a demi-god?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I think we're discussing the limitations of a fictional being. In the context of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", I'm not sure his powers apply to the internet, being that "He sees you when you're sleeping...", but he only "... knows when you're awake." So if my incorporeal consciousness was uploaded to the internet, do you think I could spoof my online status to green, so that I'd be untraceable to Santa?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Possibly. I have seen many drawings depicting Santa being threatened by technology.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

If we're building a thing, I don't think Krampus would be as limited, but his punishment wouldn't be as dire.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Idk I bet he's got contacts all throughout the NSA. He's got a hell of a blackmailing racket going.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Or maybe part of his elf crew includes an elite hacking division, and he's essentially in every government network.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Only if, the moment you get uploaded, you say 'I'm in.'

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

My online consciousness will 100% be wearing 1337 h4x0r sunglasses

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I reckon he knows if you've been bad or good because of the parents' assessment of their children's goodness. That is not a specific Santa power, except in as much as the power of Santa to get that parental assessment is a power

I think it has to be based on the parents, as clearly bad kids still get presents, and only their mother thinks they're good.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Our subconsciousness dreams Santa into existence.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

He lacks omnipresents!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Santa only watches children though I think.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

Be the Grinch. Get ostracized by looking different. Slowly get shunned from your community and froze out. Be ignored. Everyone hates you for no reason.

They rub it in your face by being as loud and noisy as possible. You tried to get away but they still flaunt it in your face. Only your best doggo understands and loves you still.

You go down and try to stop it and take their shit. Next day, they're still singing their fucking songs. You give them their shit back and NOW they like you.

Lesson: Nobody will like you until it looks like you did something good. Even if it was just a problem you made and you fixed but nothing actually changes.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Just another Christmas story with terrible morals. They're surprisingly common.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Rudolph: It's not okay to be weird unless you're useful lol.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Even if it was just a problem you made and you fixed but nothing actually changes.

Isn't this half of what some IT people do?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

The True Meaning of Christmas™️

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago

Blocks the door with a chair

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Maybe that's one of the elves?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Gordon: "Which one are you going after?"

Santa: "MRS. CLAUS!"

Gordon, to his officers: "We're going after Rudolph!"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Driving around this year looking at lights, the grinch is way over represented.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

"You'll never get it out of me, you jolly basterd."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Why are there so many "webcomics" that look exactly like this? AI generated?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Safely Endangered is a pretty popular webcomic, so I highly doubt it's AI, but I guess a lot of the styles we see are becoming sort of similar.