There's a lot to unpack here. By the time I feel like saying something about it, well it would be necroposting for sure. It touches on the fact that open source alternatives to exploitative social media mimic their counterpart rather than offer a genuinely different experience which is definitely something bothering me.
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I think that will change over time as developers choose specific features/platforms to work on and when admins start customizing how their instance displays info more heavily instead of just cosmetic or federation changes.
And one big issue is convenience.
People will not go to a more humane place if it's not convenient enough. For example, choosing a Fediverse instance is a no-no for even my tech savvy friends. Too much choice, too many steps.
Most people, at least around me, want to click and consume. So they stay on predatory yet easy to use platforms.
I still try to bring awareness nonetheless.