Kid's got issues.
Greentext
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
And most of these would taste the same. Cheap and tasting strongly of vinegar.
Fewer than you think, I'd bet.
This person clearly likes hot sauce, and buys a lot of it. Maybe they just buy literally everything, but maybe they're more selective. I'd bet some of them are fermented, and some are lighter on the vinegar taste, even if they water it down a bit to focus on the pepper flavor. It isn't that hard to make even a cheap sauce not taste too overwhelmingly of vinegar
And I would eat them all.
Imagine running downstairs excitedly not knowing that any of this is there. You trip on a thousand little bottles crashing down the stairs, getting cut, scraped and basically opened up everywhere by broken glass and every opening getting filled with Carolina Reaper, Jamaican, Thai Chili, Texas barbecue and Louisiana Gumbo hot sauce. You smash your face on a bottle of Mama's Concentrated Habanero sauce, you're in so much pain and get ready to scream as a combination of Hank's Red Hot and Amanda's Hellfire go pouring into your mouth and nose. You can't see because a bottle of Mexican Tabasco broke on your forehead and now the mixture of your own blood and thick red sauce is slowly pouring into your eyes.
You breathe in once, scream and then pass out drowning in hot sauce, as your lifeless body goes sliding down the rest of the stairwell.
The stairwell turns into one of those rescuer death traps like monoxide filled ground tanks.
An EMT runs in, screams when the wall of pain hits his lungs. No sound escaping his lungs as he drops unconcious from shock.
Not responsing, the emergency services send in more EMTs, all of them getting instantly deliciously marinated in the fumes of hell incarnate with a hint of garlic and mango
Disco Elysium shit right there lmao
quick, someone think up a quippy headline for the obituary
Hot sauce, cold death
"Local Man Accidentally Tests Ring of Fire, Loses."
-More at 8
Eddie Murphy’s set about falling down the stairs remade by Michael Bay.
If you're going to be stupid, be smart about it. Only the right side should be used. Use caution cones. Idk. Or just don't do it.
If you’re going to be stupid, be smart about it.
If only t'wer so simple.
Why does one have a collection of hot sauce? I can deal with the concept of a collection of hot sauce BOTTLES.
Y'all dont have condiments in your house?
This guy found one he likes and just kept going. The endorphin kick from just bollocking yourself with some demon spice is probably a big part of it.
Well yes but how much condiment can he use? Can he even use all of it before ot goes bad? And does he even use them? Because using them means he'll run out eventually, making his collection incomplete.
Most hot sauce is mainly vinegar. It doesnt really have a shelf life, but if so, it's years and years.
Im betting that no, whoever has got the staircase full isn't going to use them all, but they will use some. At that stage, it's a collector enjoying collecting a foodstuff. They will enjoy a bit of them all, then enjoy seeing them and maybe the memories, like most collectors.
Works for me, as long as he keeps them off the communal fucking stairs.
I suppose I don't understand the general concept of collecting things just for the hell of it, especially food. That's on me, thank you for being patient.
Honestly if I seen that after a long day at work, I'm walking through it.
They should have left a path on the left side as you go up. Reason being it's easier to balance going up than going down, and the majority of the population has a stronger right hand to grip the rail. Personally I'd ask them to clear a path, because they might just have been stupid and jump to it, but if they don't I'd go shove a few out of the way on the bottom step with my foot, giving them time to change their mind before I continue on up, leaving bottles rolling down in my wake.
Neighbors cat gets spooked by its own shadow, runs out the door, down the stairs, tripping over all the bottles, causing the house and neighborhood to be pepper sprayed by the breath of satan
In my walkup? Wtf is a walkup?
An apartment complex with stairs and without an elevator.
Ah, thank you