this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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(page 2) 50 comments
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 weeks ago

I used to be heading down this path as a teenager. For me, college was the eye opener. When I broke away from my normal bubble of people, I would have my opinions and biases challenged.

I like the travel suggestion as well. Also I went to some music festivals around that time that were pretty significant to my beliefs. I guess it depends on the type of music they prefer though.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Have your son travel, sending him off to see how other people live and how cheerful and helpful most people are is probably going to open his eyes.

  1. Puerto Rico, Bahama’s, St Lucia, British Virgin Islands are all fairly safe and you can mix and mingle with the locals. Just don’t stay somewhere where you will only stay on the resort. Get a hotel or resort in the middle of a community

I had a wonderful time in St Luca several years ago and stayed at the resort below. It’s a small resort in the middle of a town with lots of interaction with locals.

https://coco-resorts.com/

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

We really need better terms than facist or nazi. People keep confusing the meaning of the words because its all we have for description of this thoughtset. There might be some overlap, but unless it 100% fits it just creates opportunities for people to be confused and issue to get muddied by pointless arguments and misunderstandings.

For some time i have thought this type of thoughtset as "dark humanity", but i'm not sure how fitting term it is and it feels kind of over dramatic. It just feels like humans are fundamendally split about one or more core issues, with some in the middle too. Though i'm also worried that making such clear distinction would also make the separation more solid. The issues also need more defining.

Why we need better terms is that we need to be able to confront these people without insulting them as first thing, otherwise we are just aiding the enemy by pushing them further in. Calling someone nazi or facist only hurts if there is any chance to save them. Its no better than calling someone libtard.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

The fuck it is. Fascists are fascists are fascists. There is not some moral equivalence between that and libtard, and honestly fuck you for making the comparison.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (3 children)

What i'm trying to do is suggest we should try to find alternatives to where we are eventually going, which is both sides attacking eachother for real.

And while there is no moral equivalence, there is equivalence between our hate of fascism and their hate of our way of thinking. We shouldnt drive away those who are not completely lost.

Also, i dont see the need to be immidiately so offended and attack me verbally like that. You can point out the mistakes someone has made and offer your own corrections to them and discuss like civilized people. I feel like i dont see things as others do, i think i have some kind of autism. so how am i supposed to learn from my mistakes like this?

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

A turd.

If you want something that he would enjoy, Mein Kampft.

I mean, I'm sure at this point he has been exposed to most literature and works to not be a fascist, this won't get fixed with a gift. Maybe try to have a 1 on 1 conversation with him, let him speak an express why he thinks like that, let him go deep, let him talk about his feelings. Fascism always root on untrue information and resent. If he respects you, you can then talk about where he is wrong, confront the lies, but embrace him as a person.

If you want to win your son back, it will take real work, respect, and love. These people get lied to, and they believe because they are full of resent and want an explanation, someone to pin all the problems, an enemy. Uprooting that is hard, but sometimes family and friends can do it. If family and friends deepen those core beliefs, nothing is going to change.

Source: When I was younger, I was that stupid too. Friends made me realize it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago

The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago

A Peoples History of the United States by Howard Zinn

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Gen Z men that fall for the machismo of "hustling" just can't conceptualize the amount of financial difference between them and their idols. Get him something he can work towards making a hobby and hope that you can talk to him about why he thinks the way he does; listen and try to empathize and offer him an alternative solution to what he has forged for himself.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago

Some political theory, then read it yourself so you can stop being a liberal /j

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago

does he like music? see if theres any old punk shows around or any records/vinyls if he likes that at all. sex pistols, dead kennedys, hell, even green day.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago

I don't know how else to show him I love him or that he's a part of this family.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

As a lefty who received "gifts" from her conservative parents, let me suggest giving the gift separate from a major holiday. Something I wish my parents had done that could work as a gift of sorts for you would be to take your son out for coffee or breakfast. Nothing fancy, preferably not busy. Talk to them about why they think what they do. Don't combat them, just try to understand. Ask them if they would be comfortable talking more after you've had time to think about what they said.

"Hey [child's name], you know that we have strong beliefs about certain subjects. We feel we have good reasons to believe the things we do, but there are smart people in the world who disagree with us. You are a smart kid, and that is reflected in the way you look for answers to problems that the way you have been brought up to think hasn't offered a solution for. It would mean the world to your mom and I to know out son better, what are some things you've thought deeply about recently?"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

Just out of curiosity, do you know what drew him to this line of thinking in the first place? Any particular media he's consumed? Knowing how one first enters into fascism can help in undoing that damage.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
  • Peter Kropotkin, The Conquest of Bread (1892)
  • Murray Bookchin, The Ecology of Freedom (1982)
  • Abdullah Öcalan, Democratic Confederalism (2011)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

While those are cool books you’re not going to turn a facist kid leftist by gifting them anarchist books they aren’t ever going to want to read.

Especially when their radicalisation likely came from the instant gratification of social media.

They probably feel like the odd one out. Feelings of loneliness can often lead to this kind of radicalisation. You want to make the kid feel loved. Gifting them books from your ideology is pretty much the worst thing you could do (unless it’s some sort of “side gift”). Because it’s basically screaming “I’m not going to get you anything you want unless you change for me” — aka. I do not love you unconditionally, which a kid never wants to hear

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm a millenial but one of my most conservative friends has parents who are total left wing hippies. Sometimes kids end up rebelling or defining themselves in opposition to certain aspects of their family members.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

And sometimes, kids get less conservative with age. I did a u-turn in my mid-20s and am probably the furthest left in all of my family.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
  • subscription to Brilliant
  • museum card (go with him)
  • trip abroad
  • night out to stand up comedy
  • tickets to an anime convention

Edit: maybe get him a busuu, rosetta stone, or duolingo subscription so that he can learn a new language, and maybe the desire to travel to experience life outside of the country, learn about new cultures and people, and so on.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago

To be honest brilliant seemed so cool to me like 7 years ago and I got a subscription and found that I basically learnt nothing from it even though I spent hundreds of hours.

It’s good at making you “feel” like you’re learning but it’s pretty bad at actually teaching things.

A textbook will go so much further.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

I'd be curious about what makes him different from the others. There's been some research regarding fluid intelligence* vs. crystalized intelligence, where liberals tend to be more on the fluid side. It kind of makes sense because rather than trying to figure out what they can't understand off the bat, conservatives tend to rage against it.

As far as gifts, I dunno. Maybe a puzzle game? I don't know what's big in the puzzle game world now, if anything. The idea is make your son more comfortable with the idea of tackling novel problems instead of trying to cram them into an existing framework.

*it's called "intelligence" but I tend to think of it more like a thinking strategy. Fluid intelligence being "can I think of a way to solve this?" while crystallized intelligence is "what strategy that I'm familiar with already can solve this?"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I’d recommend some Scott Galloway. He’s an advocate for young men, but he’s not one of those toxic manosphere types. He’s not exactly a leftist, but he’s certainly a liberal by today’s standards.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

The best gift will be the same understanding, acceptance, and love you show all your kids.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It's hard to do that when he shows such clear disdain for his siblings.

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