this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2023
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Asklemmy

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I feel like I would be a Prof in the Pokémon universe. Just interested in studying, experiments, generally dilletante shit and fieldwork.

No desire for fame or publishing if I can get around it or get someone else to take credit for it as long as I get a little scratch

Edit: try and keep things nice at 69%, lol

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

This was going to be my answer. I wear shorts all the time!

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

There's no animals in Pokemon but you always see them eating meat in the cartoon. I would go on a quest to eat all the Pokemon. At least the original 151.

Gotta eat 'em all.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm racking my brain trying to figure out what I would be, but this is probably it. Food is probably the biggest part of my personality.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There are actually non-pokemon animals in Pokemon, both the games and in the anime.See this Bulbapedia article. Although Takeshi Shudō has claimed that animals have gone extinct by the time the anime takes place. Also it seems humans do eat some Pokemon.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Thank you so much for this! I love the granularity of people's knowledge here and this was a super provocative notion for me that I failed to interrogate further absent your piping up :)

Thanks again

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

It does have a weird relationship with Magicarps, altho I appreciate they obfuscate this fact for the time. Same with Milkow

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago

I'd be one of those forgettable NPCs who has one or two Pokemon who help me with chores and then we hang out in our small house. Squirtle would be my helpful, friendly bro. But I'd also like one of the dog ones to pet and snuggle with. Maybe Growlithe. Water and fire moves would be super handy in everyday life. They'd be occasional Flintstone appliances, but mostly something between pets and children. I would love them so much.

And then you assholes would walk into my house uninvited and be annoyed that I wasted your time by not giving you anything. Like bitch, you're lucky you didn't catch a Flamethrower from my boy Growlithe over here for breaking and entering. Don't look in my trash can, you nosey fuck. Damn Pokemon gym brings riffraff into this town. The shit I put up with for free healthcare...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I am a filthy casual player, so I suppose I'd be a clueless tourist collecting endangered Pokemon who should be left alone, and stumbling into dangerous situations.

Still mad that they made the 3 team leaders so dorky looking in the last update of their clothing but Team Rocket so suave and cool in their outfits.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

They got the important part right, otherwise how do I evn take them cereal?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I'm the mom/dad.
I'm so proud of my kid!
(I have no clue what they're doing, I just know at age 10, every child has to leave home).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Pull their weight ;)

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Probably some other NPC that does some highly specific thing. Like the name rater, or whatever.

Not important in the grand scheme of things, but people all over the world come for that one weird task I can do, and that's enough for me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Might you say

everybody NEEDS this 1 SPECIFIC NPC

;) ?

Also 2me4irl

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Gym Leader towards the middle of the game with a really annoying gimmick

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Grr, that was my very close second, but I would hate to have to constantly "defend" my title and be open to getting fired or superseded bureaucratically.

Definitely gotta have the hubristic Jessie laugh ("hahaha" one word) before battle to be damn cocky

Edit: who are you referencing btw? There's so many of 'em

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I've actually played very little Pokemon, and was just gesturing vaguely at something that presumably exists 😅

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I wanna be Youngster Ben, so I can talk about how comfy shorts are.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Is this a meme/thing?

Edit: I'd be wayyy further ahead if I had listened and this also just resolved a small family dilemma lol for me

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Nah just Youngster Ben is the most iconic character in the series imo. Plus he's got a sick outfit in battle.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm a pokemon breeder. You never get to fight me because I'm always telling you whether there's an egg or not, but if you got to see my perfect IV, perfect EV, perfect nature team, every single one is shiny.

And a side effect of all that needless effort is that I'm frickin loaded.

My appearance is the Alolan girls' (braids, cowboy hat, overalls).

Need a better, less kinky name for me though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

10/10 name! Are you a Name Rater?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If I ended up in the Pokemon universe, I'd be fighting for Pokemon rights. Clearly, these creatures are fully sentient. They fluently understand human language, and even one (Meowth) can speak. We have no right to capture and force them to fight. Also, I would fight to help teach them human languages or unlock the secrets to their "language", so we may better communicate.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

We don't "force" them to do it. This is repeatedly established to be something they enjoy doing. BW even has this as a plot point: N, a young man who is somehow able to understand Pokémon, is initially of the same point of view as you. To his astonishment, most Pokémon outright refuse to abandon their trainers. At first he chalks this up to some form of brainwashing, but over the course of the game he comes to realize that their desires to train and become stronger are in fact genuine. He ultimately decides it isn't right for him to decide what they want for them, and spends the sequel targeting abusive trainers exclusively as opposed to tearing down the institution of Pokémon training in it's entirety. >!There's also some stuff about a bigger big bad grooming him to be the face of Team Plasma while he controls the group from the shadows, complete with strongly implied child abuse. Oh, and the reason the bigger bad wants to "liberate" Pokémon to begin with is so that no trainer can oppose his own team when he goes for world domination. You know, typical RPG stuff!<

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm one of those girls that are obsessed with ghost types.

I don't particularly care for ghost pokemon, but it's important to have goals

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'd be some bloke telling everyone the same boring bullshit about some glass bottle or other, hanging about in a pokemon center dong absolutely fucking nothing. Seems to be a viable career option in the Pokemon universe given how many ppl pursue this line of work.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

When I was a younger I made up a dark type gym leader OC who's thing is he acts like an edgelord when he's on the clock but is otherwise pretty chill when he punches out. I always thought it was a pretty funny concept that I'd love to see in a game. So that's me.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I would be a Snorlax.

...does that count as a valid answer?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I've always thought of myself as a gym leader. I've been doing martial arts since I was 10, I love Fighting types and Blaziken has been my absolute favorite Starter since forever.

I also really like the idea that gym leaders have a bunch of Pokemon ready to take challengers and different levels. Taking on some kid just starting out with Riolu while my Machamp and Bewear wrestle in the background sounds awesome.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I would be a Pokemon trainer of the Cool Beauty trainer class wielding a togepi, unown, shedinja, phione, keldeo, and porygon-z and wait by a landslide area that causes the trainer to fall once they beat me so they'd have to go up the slope a second time to get to their destination.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Delightfully specific and on brand ;) We gonna get along just fine 🦄

That slope bit is also endearingly petty. If you don't mind me saying, that you thought of that and articulably threw that out there is beyond a green flag for me lol

Like, I would literally caveat with something like that IRL to reinforce my negotiating position and also on a precedential level to deter someone from f-ing with me not only at the time but also secretly hope it spreads so my reputation for clever pettiness does all the work for me going forward ;)

It really is a beautiful thing and we are beautiful people for intuiting it, while still hopefully retaining our goodness and a sense of grace

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ghost gym leader, which would be kind of ironic given how easily scared I am, but ghost types are so cool. And everyone loves horror/reaction content, so I could make a whole game and stream out of a haunted house.

I guess that means I'd have to have some responsibility over the town my gym is in, but I guess I can live with that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I love the ghosts cuz they're such clowns and pranksters. They see both sides of issues and simply screw around in the face of the playful absurdity of existence

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Drifloon: steals and murders child

Drifloon: "it's just a prank bro!"

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

A gym leader terrified of their own Pokemon would be hilarious!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You missed an option:

Elite 4.

I'd be in the elite 4 as a total wildcard using metronome & OHKO's as my only attacks with all of my Pokemon.

I'm a speed runner's nightmare

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

No, this is Patrick!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Rock/Ground/Steel gym leader. There are a lot of chonky lizard bois and I am going to love them all, even as a 12 yr old destroys my shit with a monotype starter.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Probably none of those. I'd probably be the big bad. For whatever reason when I was a kid and picked up blue I thought "friends? no I taught these monsters to be strong, they ain't no friends." When the friend secret mechanics came in I realized I hadn't done anything but instilled Stockholm syndrome in them.

I allter them with drugs, use machines on them to force them to learn things. If they end up useless they stay in a box forever.

Pokemon are how I get rich, pokemon are how I get power, pokemon are how I enact control.

A powerful pokemon is a good pokemon.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I have no idea what any of those tings are. So… I’m none of them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I don't feel like I'm to the level of Pokémon professor, but I do feel like I would be something along the lines of a Pokémon teacher or maybe the gym guy.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Pokémon trainer aspiring to be a gym leader but I have too balanced of a team to pick one gym.

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