this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2024
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Computer science terms that sound like fantasy RPG abilities

I'll start:

  • Firewall
  • Virtual Memory
  • Single source of truth
  • Lossless Compression (this one sounds really powerful for some reason)

Your turn

Hard mode: Try not to include closer to domain-specific things like javascript library names

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[–] [email protected] 158 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Scroll lock. To protect your scrolls.

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[–] [email protected] 143 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The orc becomes a pile of gelatin, quivering, you now must choose what it will become.

Roll for…

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You roll a 1.

This causes an unauthorized access exception and a giant bouncer rapidly approaches, screaming in fury.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Encapsulation kinda sounds like it could be a spell too. That's 2/3 pillars of OOP.

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[–] [email protected] 132 points 1 month ago (1 children)

World wide web would be an OP spell

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

A crack forms below you… and suddenly a tunnel collapses inward beneath your feet.

After a short while your fall is arrested. You are now snagged in a web, in the dim light lit from where you fell you can see this web goes on, all around you, seemingly forever.

[–] [email protected] 111 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

a list of named vulnerabilities would be a great starter

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I cast CVE-2014-0160… at the darkness

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I am a level 17 Install Wizard.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Installation Wizard - A wizard hired to protect a specific building or location.

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[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago

One of those fucked me up real bad in Elden Ring

[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 month ago
  • Terminal shell
  • Kill daemon
  • Timeshift
  • Cloud hosting
  • Ethernet
  • Overwrite memory
  • Free memory
  • Poison artifical intelligence
[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Default Gateway

Split Horizon

Routing Overhead

Broadcast Storm

edit:fkn markdown

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

Split Horizon sounds really high-level.

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Terminal escape

Privilege escalation

Command injection

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I had a bit too much fun with these :)

Magical Items
  • The Bandwidth Cap
    Cursed item that limits the magical power of it's wearer
  • The Token Ring
    Magical ring that allows the wielder to communicate over large distances. They can receive messages from one token ring and send message to another.
  • The Memory Barrier
    Protective charm that shields the mind from intrusion.
  • The Shadow Register
    A magical ledger that records secrets and hidden locations in the immediate area.
  • The Superscalar
    A legendary shimmering sword that can strike multiple foes in a single attack.
Spells
  • Loopback
    Redirects a spell to its point of origin.
  • Jabber
    Causes the target to produce incoherent speech and lose its train of thought.
  • Branch Prediction
    Gives the caster foresight to predict their opponent's next action.
  • Traceroute
    A tracking spell that reveals the path of a target.
  • Mask
    Hides the caster's true identity.
  • Hypertransport
    Enables instantaneous movement over short distances.
  • Interrupt
    Counterspell to disrupt an enemy's casting.
Spell modifiers
  • Broadcast
    Modifies spell to affect a large area.
  • Unicast
    Modifies spell to affect a single point with maximum damage.
  • Multicast
    Modfies spell to affect multiple selected targets.
  • Repeater
    Modifies spell to recast itself over multiple turns.
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (5 children)
  • Big endian (a very powerful NPC)
  • Hardware abstraction (a spell that makes all the stuff disappears)
  • Obfuscation (invisibility spell)
  • Multiplexing (ability to cast several spells as one)
  • Dangling reference (when wrong information is given by somebody)
  • Curiously Recurring Template Pattern (basically crop circles)
  • Pure virtual method (anything somebody learned but will never use)
  • Diamond inheritance (when someone in the party dies and all of their money is spread accross the others)

Can you tell what's my job?

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

CAT5e sounds like a fifth-edition ruleset

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (7 children)

ethernet sounds like some mystical realm

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)
  • Hypervisor
  • time daemon
  • privilege escalation
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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

Asynchronous Threads

Port Forward (this one just sounds like a dope place)

Remote Host

Domain Controller

Immutable Type

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)
  • rowhammer
  • rainbow table
  • global interpreter lock
  • race condition (atrocity?)
  • core dump
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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sanity check
Wildcard
Merge Bash Overwrite memory
Key binding
Class inheritance

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Memory leak

Destructor

Dynamic dispatch

Execute

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (5 children)
  • Race condition

  • Physical Layer

  • Fast Fourier Transform

  • COBOL

  • Penetration testing

  • Tiger Team

  • Zombie process

  • Alice, Bob and Carol (some NPCs)

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
  • Brute Force Attack
  • Markov Chain
  • Singular Matrix
  • Pow
  • map
  • bind
  • variable name (thief's favorite)
  • Ballmer Peak
  • Fourier Transformation (2nd level: FFT)
  • Gaussian Elimination
  • Double
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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Artificers use assembly language to cast their spells.

1st level wild shape ability byte.
4th level wild shape ability megabyte.
8th level wild shape ability gigabyte.
9th level wild shape ability terabyte

Bonus 0th level ability: nibble

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

Disconnect Peripheral: Removes someone's limb.

Critical Vulnerability: Increases critical hit rate.

Memory buffer: Allows you yo remember things better.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

Kernel Space - banishes the target to a plane of existence filled with corn

B Tree - an AOE summon of a permanent swarm of bees in the targeted area until the bees all die or leave naturally

Monad - device that transmutes one set of spell components into another. These can be strung together to form very complex things.

Extended Backus-Naur Form - Allows one to transform into a memetic form to be carried in the mind of another; also extends to your clothing and any carried items.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Rust - rusts metal. When miscast, makes the target a crab of some sort

Go - Same as "command" spell

Regular Expression - makes any cryptic message understandable in a language you know

Transfer Protocol - allows the teleportation of one packet to a willing host

Read Only - cast on a book, scroll or any other thing with written words. Ensures no further words can be written. No scribbles or any sort of artwork will stick either. The object can still be destroyed

Icon - For a short period, the target of the spell becomes a beloved, or hated, icon of a subject. IE: beloved icon of beauty, hated icon of music.

Master Boot Record - this magical list contains all the master level boots ever created and their current whereabouts

Partition Table - allows any object with at least 2 flat sides to be cut into any shape

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Zero Trust: curse. You become suspicious of your allies.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago
  • Ring zero
  • Bootkit/Rootkit
  • Attacker in the middle
  • Intercepting proxy
  • Daemon
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Agile Method

Kill

Clone

Daemon Process

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

LUT - A table appears 10ft above your target and falls on it dealing 1d6 bludgeoning.

"LOOK! UP! TABLE!"

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Deadlock

Priority inversion

Debugging

Source compilation

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Ping of death

Bash

Vim (clearly a buff)

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Python runtime. Time for you to run from these pythons bitch.

BSOD. Pretty self-explanatory

Agile development. Raises Dex everytime a new enemy enters vision.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago
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