You might be lactose intolerant, in which case taking lactase enzyme pills immediately before eating may relieve your discomfort.
this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2023
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Depends on what your tummy doesn't love about pizza.
Cheese? Lactose intolerance. Take some lactase.
Sauce? Sensitive to acidity or tomatoes? Take Omeprazole.
Bread? I'm sorry for your loss. It's gluten free or bust.
Depends on which part you're having trouble digesting.
Personally, I feel pretty darn good after eating a pizza.
If you aren’t lactose intolerant, this is something I just recently learned: chew your food very well. I know, it sounds like a given, but our stomachs and intestines don’t have teeth or any effective way to grind our food down into tiny pieces. Even something that seems softer, like cheese pizza, is a lot of work to break down into digestible pieces past our mouths. To some extent I have caused myself needless suffering by underchewing my food.
Weird way to think about it “drink your food, chew your drinks” let your saliva work on the stuff too.
Even actual digestion, breaking down with enzymes, starts in the mouth. The more you chew, the more digestion has already started before it hits your poor overworked stomach. And pizza works the stomach hard!
If I eat specifically before bed...
That's the problem. You'd likely get heartburn after eating most foods if you eat just before going to bed. Don't eat that close to bed time and it shouldn't happen.
If you do, bitters can help a bit.
This 10000%
I had to learn this the hard way when my stomach randomly decided to give up during pandemic. Try not to eat 2 hours before bed time. You can have a light snack if you must (I usually do saltines), but nothing that is heavy to digest.
Pizza is very heavy to digest
If you are lactose intolerant, you may find this entertaining. Note, I am not recommending you try it. But it's fun to watch this guy try it.
Don't eat within a few hours of going to bed. It's likely you have light acid reflux and sleeping with a full stomach, particularly when it's full of something so rich and acidic, will compound the problem significantly.
Also I'd recommend lowering the amount you're eating. Eat just until you're no longer hungry, not to the point that you're full. If you want an extra slice later as a snack cold pizza is awesome, but you can't un-eat the slice or slices that are punishing your guts.
Is the pizza super oily? I noticed greasy pizza gives me awful heartburn
Lots of water, fibre and lactase
That really depends. Which gives you more issues, greasy diner food without cheese, or a milkshake? If it’s the former sodium bicarbonate or bismuth subalycylate should help as will limiting your fat consumption earlier in the day. If it’s the latter try lactase
Sodium bicarbonate will actually make digestion slower. It neutralizes some of your stomach acids. It is used if you have too much stomach acid (heartburn).
A bit of yoghurt or old real cheese may help, because of their bacteria, but only a bit, because a pizza is often a bit much for one person and maybe that's part of the problem. So eating more couldmake it worse.
because a pizza is often a bit much for one person
Take note that this is only the case in the US, where portion sizes have grown to such insane proportions that one pizza does not equal one person anymore.
I use something called "Dairy digest complete" before eating any 🧀, because if I don't I spend an hour holding on to the 🚽 in fear of 🚀.
This would have been an emoticon ad-lib if you remove "taking off" and just leave the rocket.
I did an edit!
Can I just say that I enjoyed the addition of the emojis there. They really brought a sense of fun to the story of you shitting your guts out uncontrollably. 👍
I had to make it fun in some way.
Have you tried sleeping on your left side after a heavy meal before bed ? Helps a lot with mitigating any digestion problems, due to how the digestive system is made
I wonder if I'm the only one who thought the title was a euphemism