this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 90 points 3 months ago (2 children)

"Why did you join the Army?"

"Government didn't like it when I killed people back home so I let them fly me out here and now I get little prizes for it."

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you’ll excuse me, they’re putting me in something called Hero Squad.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Dr Fishman said that you're going to be all right.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

I'm surprised you're all taking this news so well.

[–] yolo 5 points 3 months ago

"Ah. nice! Thank you for your service."

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 months ago

"have you ever done any drugs?" "oh yes, tons. Everything under the sun" "nothing? Not even Marijuana? Sober as a judge you are!"

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago

Top talent meets top talent.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Warning signs are a plus. They probably get a bonus for psychopaths

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

"Ignoring warning signs for potential recruits is our specialty."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

huh that was weird. Well, anyway...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

He's like "I'ma make this dude into a janitor so fast"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

why is Super Saiyan Goku Highspeed recruiting for the US

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

I told them I wasn't desperate enough to lick boots for money. Never heard from them again.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Sorry I had my license revoked after the last incident. You'll have to send a car.