this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
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Today I Learned

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Ohhhh I get it. The guy hated the stress of Mondays, so he killed Prez Garfield, who is later reincarnated as Garfield the cat who now hates Mondays because they remind him of his assassination.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Holy shit, it all checks out. President Garfield had a nephew named Rutherford B. Lasagna who he gave a high-ranking position to, just two weeks before he was assassinated.

(source: my ass)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Your sweet ass has about the same integrity as all the other bullshit I see (and sometimes even read) every motherfuckin day on this Internet we find one another on.. Source verified as original by way of alcohol.

Nice fuckin job, eh..

[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 months ago (2 children)

So what you're saying is political assassination works

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

Shinzo Abe vibes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Direct action gets the goods

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Dont worry, the Trump admin brings that back, too.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

True, shame he missed though.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

He really did, too. In full force.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Oh that's a huge over simplification on why the guy shot Garfield. Dude was literally insane.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Sane people don't kill other people.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Even that is still an understatement for how looney tunes this dude was.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Well, there's a classic: "Would you kill hitler?" and a follow-up: "Would you kill baby hitler?". Now, there's a lot of ways to discuss these questions and possible answers.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, totally worth reading about Guiteau because he was crazy on an amazing level.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

For those like me who lack the attention span to read about it Sam O'Nella did a video about it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The man bought an ivory gripped pistol for the assassination because he thought it would look cooler displayed in a museum, IIRC.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

He was just a complete nutbag. He wrote a poem in the style of "a child babbling to his mamma and his papa" which repeated "I am going to the Lordy" over and over again and read it on the way up to the gallows.

Check out the excerpts from his trial and what he said at his sentencing:

https://www.famous-trials.com/guiteau/2193-guiteauspeaks

https://www.famous-trials.com/guiteau/2196-sentencing

Edit: I forgot about the "Tableaux."

https://www.famous-trials.com/guiteau/2190-shortplay

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh god how did I forget about the poem

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Not sure if this is your thing, but Stephen Sondheim did a musical about presidential assassins and set some of the poem to music (incidentally, Guiteau said at the execution that he hoped the poem would be effective if it was set to music) as part of a longer song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAnHW2qwc2Y

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"As sure as you are alive, gentlemen, as sure as you are alive, if a hair of my head is harmed this nation will go down to desolation... all you can do is put my body in the ground, but this nation will pay for it as sure as you are alive."

Well, shit. Do you guys think this is why things have been going so poorly lately?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Charles Gitout lmaooo

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

That didn't end. Most ambassador appointments are like that, and even though agency/department appointments require congressional approval, the wheels are so well greased, people with zero relevant experience get through. The horse breeder who was head of FEMA under bush comes to mind.

It's also kinda how governments work; merit is nice to have, but loyalty is vital. It doesn't matter how competent someone is if they're going to use their power to sabotage your administration to benefit their friends in the opposition.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah the OP is doing a poor job of communicating what this is supposed to mean, something I'm actually noticing about their posting general actually. This isn't to say that appointments stopped all together, it's basically saying that there became two different tiers in government work. Political appointments are still around of course in terms of like you said ambassadors and secretaries and what not, but the more day-to-day aspects of government like the mailman are no longer appointed on political grounds. It's basically what project 2025 is trying to reverse.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Agreed. I appreciate the dedication @Don_[email protected], but you don't have to simply grab reddit threads. It ends up feeling a bit... off.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

this is why Garfield hates mondays

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

I hate how history books refer to things like the "patronage system" or "spoils system" as if they're legitimate systems and not just open corruption.

I guess it ties into my general hatred of how history textbooks tend to treat history as a bunch of isolated facts to be memorized rather than trying to connect the dots in an insightful way.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muckraker

The link is one of the major reasons for reform against things like that. Teddy Roosevelt spearheaded the whole reform

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Didn't know about this, but I at least know a little about the guy who assassinated Garfield from Sam O'Nella (assuming he got his facts right).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Still seems to work that way.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

They'll learn 'em!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

So when he says "make it great again", he means to bring back the good old days of unbridled corruption in the government. That tracks.