this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
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politics

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[–] [email protected] 194 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Why are they not talking about couches? What have they got to hide? Seems kinda suspicious.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I agree. It seems like something you'd deny outright. It raises questions about whether or not Trump is a couch-fucker, or if MAGA republicans endorse couch-fucking. Is this their political agenda? To fuck my couch? Or your couch? Are they recruiting my furniture into their couch-fucking culture? There are a lot of questions here.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Probably gonna need a congressional inquiry to get to the bottom of this one.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I found some instructional material that might be helpful to Vance

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[–] [email protected] 121 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This was just a silly joke that got WAY out of hand. The author isn’t even trying to claim it’s real. Getting defensive and angry is the worst possible way to respond - therefore, I hope they keep doing it.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (4 children)

It would be something to see a headline about JD Vance denying having relations with a couch

Wonder if it'll happen

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"It depends on what the meaning of the word ~~'is'~~ couch, is"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not to completion, at least.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You think fucking couches is a joke? Furniture abortions are at an all-time high and you think it's some kind of silly joke?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

Come on. You and I both know that those stats are cushioned.

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[–] [email protected] 108 points 2 months ago (3 children)

“We do not want to risk Mr. Vance getting an erection on stage.”

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Interviewer: Please, take a seat

JD: Ummm, here? Really?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh please can we incept some weird mental link in his head between coaches and sex, I say send fan art

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[–] [email protected] 103 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You don't have to talk to em, you just walk right up and grab em by the cushy

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 68 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Apparently, the only way to get under their skin is to sink down to their level a bit. It's funny how much attention some of this stuff actually got. They are just so weird!

[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago (15 children)

It's not even close to sinking to their level. This shit is harmless. That makes it especially hilarious to see them blow a gasket over something so lame. Trump wants to take his ball and go home.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

No, convicted felon, and genuinely weird creepy Donald Trump, will take your ball and go home.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 months ago (7 children)

"We're not going to talk about couches or coconuts or whatever weird fetish KamalaHQ is into," Cheung said, also referencing the coconut memes associated with Harris' political persona. "When we have something to say, we'll say loud and clear. If Kamala is a coward, we'll call her a coward. If Tim Walz is a liar, we'll call him a liar."

Weird way to not talk about couches bro.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wait, lying is a problem now? Somebody better let Trump know.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

Lying is only a problem if you’re a Democrat.

If you’re a republican they expect you to.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

when we have something to say, we'll say it loud and clear

Uh huh, like calling her a "DEI hire". Or maybe the implied racism is sufficiently loud and clear for them

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It’s really a lot of couch talk for a campaign declaring no couch talk 🤷‍♂️

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That’s ok because the rest of us are having great fun discussing it because it’s sofa king hilarious

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 months ago (2 children)

C’mon Vance, don’t be a La-Z-Boy, answer the questions about your sectionality

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago

I understand, I don't like when people bring up my ex either.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

🎶We don't talk about couches, no no no🎶

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago (5 children)

That’s because Flipper Vance is getting too much attention with all this couch action.

Anyday now Trump will crack and announce that he had lots of couches back in his day more than anyone and when your rich they let you do it to their couches with tears in their eyes saying thank you sir. Big strong men with big strong couches. Some of them were on the younger side to be sure but they liked the couches as much as I did.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago

Vladimir Futon.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You're not supposed to announce that you're not going to talk about something...

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Narrator: “they’re totally going to talk about couches.”

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"I did not have sexual relations with that settee!"

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

Sectional relations

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago

From the article:

That's spurred criticism from the right that — even if the meme is tongue-in-cheek — Democrats are spreading baseless lies about one of their political opponents.

Because the Republicans would never stoop to such a low!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (4 children)

“Not going to talk about couches”? Oh yes you are. You’ve been hoisted by your own petard, and you’re gonna stay up there till we decide to take you down (we won’t, you deserve it).

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Trump campaign refuses to deny that Vance sexually assaulted a love seat

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The fact they even have to say this in a PR release....WOW!

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Imagine being the person who just made a small little joke online that's now changed the direction of the election in a way

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Wow. Their silence on couches is deafening. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE?!

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Hmm curious why would Trump campaign hide this info from the voters?? Did Vance really fuck the couches and the internet just guessed right????

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago

We're gonna talk about them endlessly.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

Convicted felon Donald Project 2025 Trump's campaign says it's 'not going to talk about couches', in reference to JD Couch Fucker Vance

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago

COUCHES are being used in SCHOOLS to FORCE kids to have sex! We need to BAN these sick perverted couches. THEY want your children to stop having kids.

GET THEM OUT OF SCHOOLS

Or something deranged like that.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

If their voters are willing to wear t-shirts saying "real men wear diapers", we need to get in on this racket and sell "real men fuck couches" and "better a couch-fucker than a Democrat!" shirts, then after a certain threshold of sales and enough time for Vance and Trump to notice and comment on the phenomenon, we can reveal that the profits are being donated to Kamala and that every shirt sold has a secret message written around the image in a tiny font that says "if you can read this, you're a fucking moron".

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (8 children)
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Sounds like it just did

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Don't worry, we'll talk about it for you

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