No Stupid Questions

Is it normal for teenagers discovering sexuality to improvise sex toys? Absolutely. Cucumbers are generally a convenient shape and size. When I was a young male teenager, I used hotel shampoo bottles. (Almost got one stuck inside me, no idea what I would have done.) When the time comes to have that talk, mention sex toys and that if they want to experiment, they should use objects that are meant to be used that way and that you won't judge them for it. I'd probably also mention that you won't open packages addressed to them and leave it at that.

It's a shitposting meme. The poster has this pinned on their twitter:

That said... I have heard horror stories about poor theater staff finding cucumbers after the 50 shades premiere. Some of it was just people memeing and trying to prank but I'm not entirely sure about all of it.

As a woman on Lemmy, I have never done this. I didn't find penetration very comfy until I learned how to have G spot orgasms with my SO, but by then I was an adult and could buy a G spot dildo for times he wasn't around. All I can think of with a cucumber is that something would break off inside me and I'd get an infection.

You better make sure your son doesn't have access to coconuts

People are missing the more important question:
Why did she put the cucumber back in the fridge?

That kid just learned a valuable lesson about washing things off when you're done using them. Especially food. Fucking gross lol

Take their 'joke' seriously and buy them each their own vibrator/dildo combo. Be really serious about the whole thing; explain what they are, what they're for, everything.

This way, if they weren't joking, your veggies are safe. If they were joking, you have just completely topped their joke with your own.

As the only female on Lemmy I'm here to say maybe. Possibly anything could be used for penetration. I have personally never used a vegetable. A cucumber could be too large and intimidating for a young girl so hair brush handles are top tier.

Got a bit freaky with a friend once. I used the cucumber on her. We both ate it after. Don't leave that shit for other people to eat. As long as they have common sense, you should be fine.

It happens yes, but I stopped because I understood that insects / mold / organisms grow on fruit and vegetables, so I think of it as gross now, but it beat a hairbrush handle.

Hope she washed it off well before putting it back in the fridge. So I doubt the post is real. As for the rest I'll have to leave it to women to answer. But if you ever find your cucumber in the garbage, just leave it there.

No joke, my mother used one when my dad was was away on work. I know because she forgot about it and my sister had the bright idea to go snooping around in her drawers one day.

I would hope that in our modern age with more access to privately get sex toys (thanks to the internet) that most people would not resort to using vegetables. However, is someone saw buying sex toys as somehow "wrong" then they might.

Teenagers do stupid shit. So while it's not something everyone does, it absolutely happens. No it's not something anyone should seriously try. You cannot effectively clean a vegetable and it can break, requiring embarrassing medical attention.

And yes, one of the reasons for an allowance is because teenagers need some agency and privacy to become normal healthy adults. If they want to explore their sexuality alone it's perfectly natural.

As a teen I had little to no interest in penetration. Tampons didn't feel good, so why would I assume something else would? I wasn't really interested in penetration until I was interested in my partner specifically.

Once I (eventually) figured out pleasurable masturbation, I still stuck with external stuff mostly, and fingers in general. Eventually I got a job and a debit card and could privately online shop, but my little bag of toys continues to go mostly unused. Nothing beats my fingers.

I don't know about other women, but for me masturbation is and always has been much more about what's going on in my head, and then adding the pleasurable sensations to that, rather than experimenting with different sensations.

For a beginner I literally cannot imagine a cucumber. How many dicks are as thick as a grocery store cucumber? None I've seen in real life. Maybe in porn, but I can't think of any. It would just hurt. Beginners would need something maybe the size of 2 female fingers. (Maybe a farmers market cucumber that's skinnier?)

When your children start ordering packages, don't open them and you'll never have to worry about this.

This is the modem equivalent format for an ancient dirty joke. Back in the day kids you could find collections of them in printed books, and later, entire websites solely dedicated to hosting thousands of dirty jokes. They were presented in story format, often happening to your cousin's friend.

Not saying no one had ever had this happen to them in the history of mankind. But this is also an old dirty joke that is probably more commonly repeated than acted out.

I've never used a veg for these purposes and I'm not planning to. I would definitely not recommend it to anyone, and I would recommend be very mindful of the hygiene of any objects you decide to insert for whatever reason- speaking from experience here, UTIs are no fun.

Most people don't use vegetables for this afaik.

That aside, the only girl who ever confided in me that she used a veg (a banana btw) also said she put it in a condom. She said she would bin it all afterwards and this sounds like what someone reasonable enough would do. I'd be grossed out if I was to eat something used for that and I'd feel awful to have my family eat something used that way. Just no.

TIL there are like no women on lemmy

Well she said she used it for 3 hours so I can only imagine it was in fact and edging case.

Hairbrush handles are much more common. I'd say most girls probably haven't used vegetables.

No this is not normal... it's not sanitary for one and nobody wants yeast infections. It also doesn't really have a suitable structure for that, and the outside rind... I mean I cannot imagine that feels nice. It's a meme more than anything like I know people are out there with food fetish and it definitely has been done by someone before but no this is very uncommon lol.

Solution: simply cover your most phallic groceries with condoms, then dispose the condoms before eating.

did you catch Poor Things?

Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

No. Worrying doesn't help anyone. Just relax.

As far as I know, most women don't do this, but of course, if something exists, there's also someone who fucks or wants to fuck it.