this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Drunk off his ass.

Need a ride home?

Wtf?

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's ok, this is just what Anon imagined he'd say and do from across the bar while he stared at them and finished his drinks alone.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

It's what he imagined he'd imagine if he ever went to a bar.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

He was the train conductor.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Perhaps “willing to pay for taxi”?

Or “my DD friend is getting me and he owes me a favour?”

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Maybe accompany her so she doesn't have to take the bus alone.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 months ago

Anon chose to outdo the fat friend and cock block himself.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 months ago

Dude filtered himself. Best outcome.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

Ok, but I can relate to smiling irl when I see an internet meme in the memetics of the wild

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Could have been worse. Not sure how but it can always be worse

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

Poor girl could have gone home with that asshole.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Maybe he just did the wrong animal impressions to impress her

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Yellow Canary mining

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

hopefully the fat friend got over the friendzone

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The fat friend cockblocker is 100% real. I've had people try to make out it's not and it's unbelievable.

The funniest is when you are talking to someone you know (for example a friends gf) then a fat girl comes over and starts telling you to leave her alone and stuff.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's when you need to show your diplomat skills and realise that's the bodyguard and it ain't gonna happen tonight. Girls do it (going out as a pair) to feel safe, so trying to separate them is just gonna send their alarm bells ringing and make you sound like a creep no matter what you try.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

You're literally just making stuff up now I never said anything of the sort. I didn't separate anyone I seen a friend and said hi. Or are men and women not allowed to talk to each other without a chaperon?

I been outside in the smoking area and seen a friends girlfriend and been like "Hey how's it going?"

Then had a fat friend runs over to me and be like "Leave her alone! She has a boyfriend!"

"Yea X" then I just stared at her.

She then goes "Oh right Y." (Y being his nickname). Then just awkwardly stared as us as we both stood their in silence then she walked away.

I found it amusing. Turns out it was a barcawl from their course hence why they were all together outside. (The couple met on their course, I lived with him the year before).

So no it had nothing to do with anything I was doing. I was having a pleasant chat with someone who I was friendly with and she had struck up conversations with me many time, we used to chat at the gym also. It was just her friend being self conscious I guess.

It is always the fat ones that do that. The pretty ones either come over and say "alright?" Or they tend to stand in the conversation for a short period of time and then leave. But the abrupt cutting into a conversation and speaking on behalf of friend like she's a child who can't look after herself is always fat girls. The memes are true.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

For the record I just posted because these are situations I've encountered a number of times in my thirteen years of going out several times a week. YMMV.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 3 months ago

For the record I posted because these are situations I've encountered a number of times in all my years of going out. Like I said, the memes are true.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Bro you don't like girls with big boobs and a huge butt and a soft tummy? You don't think they can be pretty? I dunno, seems pretty gay. Nothing wrong with not being attracted to women of course, you do you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Haha that's the worse bait in the world.

The premise being you are only straight if you are attracted to all women? No. It's general consensus that fat women are less attractive to most guys. It's all over the media. But whatever, I don't care if you like em big.

Big boobs aren't all that. Some girls have tiny boobs and they can be amazing. Fat girl boobs are more fat than boob though, it's not a positive in my opinion. Like someone said "a fat girl bragging about having big boobs is like someone saying their car is fast because its going over a cliff" I'm not sure what exactly going on but its the same as how your fat male friends boob doesn't feel like a boob. Fat butt can be nice to an extent, but only when the woman has youth on her side. Tummy well, no that's not even worth going after. Flat tummy is thought of as being attractive because of showing fertility.

Poor bait man, haha lol.