Give em the ol' Blizzard treatment;

Don't you guys have phones?

sorry for asking a question about privacy in a privacy community. i can’t just not use it because my parents are forcing me to use it. if i was allowed to unplug it, i would.

You should hire a nicely-dressed and polite person to simply relay your messages in person. And while not needed, they could be tending to other tasks, like your laundry or maybe tending the garden...

Jeff? Is that you, son? I told you that it was nonnegotiable, now get off the internets, I'm expecting an important telephone call and don't want you tying up the lines.

While there are a lot of good technical suggestions here, I've found that a conversation goes a long way. In my experience, when talking with loved ones, explain your emotions. Not "I hate this" or "the governments are listening!", but those core emotions. "Having a device in my room that is always monitoring me makes me feel anxious and I don't feel comfortable in a place where I should feel safe." Make sure that the dialog is calm and remains about your feelings until you know that you're being heard. If you aren't, try other phrases or examples.

Once you've established your feelings, address their concerns and feelings (active listening). It sounds stupid at first, but it works. "I hear that you are frustrated when I don't come down for dinner immediately." Finally, propose some solutions that meet everybody's needs and that the parties can select one to try out for a week and evaluate it's effectiveness, trying new things until a mutually beneficial solution is found.

Good luck. Please post the outcome!

Divorce

Who is forcing you?

Turn it off.

Unplug it