Asklemmy

Take care of your fucking teeth.

Take care of your fucking teeth.

And once more, for the folks who don’t get it…

Take care of your fucking teeth.

• If you need medical care, get fucking medical care. Seriously. It will get worse if you ignore it, whatever "it" happens to be.
• Following the above, have at least one trusted advocate (partner, family member, friend, doesn't matter) who can explain any chronic issues, typical medications, etc., and who can and will advocate on your behalf with medical professionals in e.g., a hospital setting as and when necessary.

Start saving for retirement now. You can make literally millions by putting away 10% of your income early on. Do it automatically so you never even notice the money gone.

If you are worried about making the wrong choice and your company doesn’t have a 401k, open an IRA somewhere (Fidelity if you need someone to make the decision for you) and pick a date targeted fund. Set up auto deposit. Never look at the balance.

You can always make it better later but for now the best thing to do is start. Don’t let analysis paralysis get in the way.

Smoking, drinking and gambling never ends well. Stay away from addictions.

Don't try to proof how manly you are to your friends/girls. It rarely pays off. Its ok to have a veggie dish at the restaurant instead of a bloody steak. Its ok to not speed with your car to look cool. Its ok to wear whatever the fuck you want as long as you like it, it fits well and its practical for you. Do what you like and be proud of it.

Always save time for your hobbies. Growing up doesn't means you can't have fun. If you are in a relationship make sure your partner gives you enough space and time for yourself.

I'm 50 and a woman, but my advice for the hell of it is be nice to your knees and back, and don't waste your time on relationships that suck.

Protect your back. Use proper form when lifting heavy weights. I let my back go round while pressing a few hundred pounds on an inverted incline leg press in my 20s, bulged a disk, and ever since my mid 30s it has been my Achilles’ Heel. Goes out without warning. Completely lays me up when it does. Rubbish. Wish I could go back and undo that.

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• Don't be afraid of loneliness; don't be afraid of too many people around; don't be afraid of sharing your life with an SO you think you don't really know. As you age, these phases tend to blunt and blend together, like the seasons. The only thing you really have, in the end, is yourself.
• Adult life is a lot more about compromising than fighting. Don't make other people's life shitty on purpose, neither allow them to make yours shitty.
• Get your regular medical check-outs.
• Leave a place if you positively can't stand it any longer, and start from scratch. It'll be okay.

Meet with a trusted financial advisor and plan your retirement ASAP

Exfoliate, moisturizer, sunblock

The starting gun has already fired. Don't be idle and wait for life to come to you, you need to go get it!

Mine is modest; but practice being mindful of your emotional reactions.

If something upsets you, interrogate why, and whether your reaction will help. 90% of the time it won’t, so learn to appreciate that you are upset, but don’t let it control you. Because if you don’t you’re going to start seeing the world through incredibly negative eyes.

For example, I used to be a nightmare behind the wheel, always getting angry with shitty drivers and red lights. But I began trying to catch those thoughts, and asked myself whether they would stop other drivers being shitty, or whether it would stop me getting caught at red lights. Would I still be angry in ten minutes? The answer is almost always no, so to expend that energy feels like a waste of time to me now.

Sure, I still get pissy, but I don’t sit with it for longer than I need to. You wouldn’t sit in acid, so why sit in anger?

Listening to other people, especially to women, is a skill. Don't spend silent time in a conversation waiting for your chance to speak or be smart or witty, stay quiet and really process what you're hearing. Imagine yourself in their situation. Accept that what they say is exactly how they feel.

The less time you spend talking, the more your conversational partner will tell you, and the more you will start to understand them, their lives, their goals, and their anxieties.

Knowing and understanding other peoples' experiences will help you not only make better decisions in your own life, but understand why other people act and think the way they do. You'll be less likely to snap-judge or make assumptions about others. And knowing more about your loved ones, co-workers, and neighbours will allow you to help them effectively if they need it.

And travel abroad as much as possible - listen to people from other countries and cultures. The human experience is wildly varied and endlessly fascinating.

I ain't trying to scare you, but if you live a statistically average life you're about to hit a downward trend in your mood which will last a couple of decades. By the time you're thirty you'll likely have a boss, a spouse and kids, all of whose needs will have to come before yours. Things start to improve again at age 47 when the kids have moved out and you're at the top of your career.

Maintain your friendships. It's so easy to make them a low priority, but having good friends and being a good friend to them is the way to make it through.

• Get an exercise routine now and keep it
• Take care of your teeth
• Invest in your retirement now
• Keep your mind sharp
• Eat right most of the time

I'm 36.

Do yourself a favor. Dont drink alone.

Sound like a tall order? Work on that. Your liver is important. You'll be alone a lot. You get in that habit now, it'll be with you when you're 40, and your liver will not be a fan.

"Work on that" what do you mean?!? -- you get home from a shit day at work, or you stop at a bar on the way home. You get drunk to numb the calcified agony of the working life. -- that's what I mean. There are other ways to numb thatee less maladaptive, they just take more effort and take affect less quickly. Move toward it for me tak health.

Do you spend hours on the couch scrolling on your phone? Try to go on a 2 mile walk every day. 4 is even better. Your heart will thank you. Your hips, knees and ankles will thank you. Listen to a podcast. You can still binge content, just... Get your body moving. And get your eyes to focus on the horizon every now and then. It's good for your eyesight long term.

Get yourself out of breath, heart racing from pushing yourself physically at least once a week. Preferably nearly every day.

Take up an artistic hobby. Write bad poems. Write bad stories. Write bad songs. Draw dumb cartoons. Draw bad portraits. Sing your best, but sing. Dance.

Stretch.

Brush your teeth twice a day.

Floss.

Do planks.

Side planks too.

Drink water.

You should be able to do 20 pushups.

You should be able to touch your toes.

Sprint as far as you can at least once a month.

Just don't get complacent being complacent.

Invest $1 for every $1 you put in a savings account. Put $1 into a retirement fund for every $1 you put in that savings acct too. Oh, and $1 in a Roth IRA at the same rate.

Got an extra $100? $25 to savings $25 to investing, $25 to Roth, $25 to 401k.

Do that til your savings ~= 6 months living expenses. Then stop that fund and split it 3 ways for investing, retirement, retirement.

Use your investment (and if things go south, savings) for a down payment on a house to minimize your mortgage.

Edit: in debt? Have more than 1 source of debt? Focus on the biggest one. If you can make minimum payments on all and have money leftover it goes to the largest debt/worst interest. Pay em off one at a time til your chins above water.

When you move things, lift correctly (safety videos are online). I’m only 35, but because of all the moving I did in my 20s, without thought of safety, I have frequent lower back pain and it doesn’t take much to hurt it.

It's easy to believe you're invincible in your twenties. Or "later me can deal with it.". As that later version of me, I'm not a huge fan of that earlier version in a lot of ways. It's fine, I'm who I am for what I went through, and I'm righting the ship. But the more cans you kick down the road, the more you have to deal with later and the harder they are to deal with. Physically, mentally, financially. It's ok to try to live life freely, but definitely be aware of this and consider kicking one less can every chance you get.

Use sunscreen and lotion up. That's the best way to prevent looking like an old catcher's mitt by the time you are 40.

I'm 39, but this is mine: do you just feel kinda "blah" all the time, don't enjoy anything including things you used to enjoy, and can't motivate yourself to do anything? That might be depression, and it might also be undiagnosed ADHD. The sooner you learn about that and get help with it, the better you'll feel and the more effective you'll be (and the less you'll let down the people you love).

• Stay out of debt
• Strength train (5/3/1 three or four days per week)
• Avoid substance abuse
• Only settle down with someone who is a HELL YES. If you're lukewarm about them, it's a no
• Make time to do something creative like music, make it a habit
• Say no if you're not interested in something or someone. Its ok to say no to shit

Have fun, chase your dreams, make sure you always have "fuck you" money for when shit hits the fan, and be kind.

Oh and the sunscreen thing!

A career is about skill mastery. Pick something valuable, that you enjoy or can tolerate, and just keep practicing at it. If you're smart enough to go to an engineering school that's the right track. Otherwise welder, electrician, plumber, tree trimmer, lineman, whatever. Just master the skill. Don't do the bare minimum to get a paycheck. Master. The. Skill.

Forgive others and yourself quickly. You're going to make a lot of mistakes and so are the people around you.

When things are great, even small things like a cup of coffee with a friend or a quiet morning, take a minute to say to yourself, "this is really great." Say it out loud. Years later you will realize those moments are as good as it gets, and if you don't mark them they just disappear. Bad moments stick around in your head regardless, but the good ones need to be memorialized.

Travel. Try new things. Eat food you've never tried before.

Get into the habit of reading. Actual books, not just things like lemmy.

Realize that literally every person you meet is a walking story, just like yourself

Brush your fuckin teeth.

Also: Floss. Seriously. Take care of your damn teeth. They're important.

Wear earplugs at loud concerts and parties and at work if you have a noisy job.

People will make fun about you, but believe me, permanent tinnitus really sucks.

I'm 2 months from 36 so I want to weigh in, behind every great man, is a good partner. Don't waste your youth chasing flings and living it up, find your person, someone who will help you build yourself in a better person every step of the way. Not controlling but supportive, and do the same for them.

Compatibility is probably the most important quality to look for in a romantic partner.