this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2023
58 points (92.6% liked)

Asklemmy

43953 readers
1021 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 year ago (10 children)

I’m a bisexual black guy. All of the slurs lol

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Create a venn diagram and check it all off

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wasn't said to me personally, but when my mom was pregnant with my younger sibling, she was at church and two old ladies were walking within earshot behind her. They said she should get an abortion because "what if its defective?" I was my moms only child at the time.

I'm just legally blind in my right eye and visually impaired in my left. And I was 4 fucking years old.

After my mom gave birth to my youngest (mixed) sibling, one of the old guys at our church asked how she gave birth to an n word.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

How very Christian of them... sickening 🀒

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

N-word lover for having a lot of black friends. Along with every other description you could think of surrounding that.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Came here to say this. The term was meant as an insult although it really isn't when you think about it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Having grown up where David Duke also lives, ambiguously failing the paper bag test, and coming of age during 9/11, I encountered a wide variety of racial insults. Many of them involved the n-word.

The most memorable one for me happened after the orator learned that I was neither black, Arabic, Hispanic, Italian, nor Asian.

"Oh you're Hawaiian? I heard you Island N-words don't even sing the National Anthem."

The other aggressors as well as my friends burst into laughter at how ridiculously stupid his statement sounded. Even his buddy was like, "Hawaii is a state you fucking idiot."

The encounter ended and we all moved on but I still laugh when it pops into my head

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Not really something most people are going to call a slur, but asexuality is hugely misunderstood it seems and it doesn't help to be called things like a "waste of flesh" or "fair game" by people whose minds live chronically in the gutter.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

why do people hate asexuality they aren't hurting anyone

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Because your deviance threatens my... Idk. My Monday night football or something

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The biggest thing is it's a huge source of incompatibility. Most people can either be categorized into two groups, those who can't imagine themselves in bed and those who can't imagine themselves not in bed. If you're asexual, that means you're not turned on by anything which would make you say yes to the bed thing, which means, according to non-asexuals, that the other person is left hanging. That's a part of the first insult though not the whole story, and some often have argued it ruins the point of a relationship.

This leads to a few misconceptions, some which were too silly to mention such as asexuals not being of any gender (misunderstanding that asexuality here is not in the sense of having no gender like with sponges). Asexuality is a spectrum and can be categorized based on certain characteristics, for example libidoist asexuals refer to those with fetishes (like me) while non-libidoist asexuals are those with no feeling whatsoever, or another categorization is whether they are "averse" (which means they actively get discomfort from physical thoughts) or non-averse (which means they're indifferent, again this describes me). I am somewhere on the spectrum where I could theoretically get in bed with someone but I would both not feel anything as well as need guidance on what to say and do because it doesn't come naturally to me, though I also would prefer not to have those moments in bed. Typically my way of pleasuring is the old visiting the batcave.

Add to these the fact that, historically, a lot of people have used asexuality as an excuse to get out of things. If someone has had their physical morality questioned, often they might say "I'm not a _____, I'm, uhm, asexual, yes that's what I am". This over time has caused a stigma towards it which gets even worse when you're like me and find myself in situations where I turn one person down because they go against the precise preferred circumstances but then am discovered mentioning/doing something that "seems" to them as ominously non-asexual (such as me mentioning turn-ons) because, again, they don't realize it's a spectrum. It also doesn't help that people often ask me when I'll cease to be a maiden, this idea still lingering in peoples' heads that everyone should marry.

The icing on the cake is what many would call the incel movement. I don't know what goes on in these peoples' minds, but from the sound of it, they seem to hold onto the Aristotelian idea that people are, by their nature, entitled to physical intimacy, and that asexuality is an offense to human nature. Every now and then some interactions somewhere remind me that hate of this kind is omnipresent to the point that I can't give total benefit of the doubt to anyone to not have it in their minds that they're ready to either confront me about it (or even act upon it) or tease me about it behind my back, such as being chased out of a whole association once over it. I feel like I need to seriously vet potential friends over this, and long exposure has drove the point home for me than natural urges are a liability to society and that, ideally, to be asexual is to be inclinationally above others. Many animals are naturally asexual (in the sense that they don't get pleasure from the act) and often I fantasize about ourselves in their points of view if they were the intelligent species of Earth.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In my youth asexuality was kind of a gift because while my friends were chasing girls and sex I was doing the things I was actually interested in. Later in life, however, it has turned into a kind of a curse because unlike what everyone used to always tell me; most women actually do like sex and are really bummed out when you don't. I hate that not being needy in this way is seen as the problem, though I get it.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Jesus christ wtf

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm a white heterosexual guy, Grew up in New Zealand through the 80's and 90's - long hair on guys was not uncommon even in small town NZ, and I rocked full head of hair 1/2 way down my back...

I moved to northern England in 2000, I think I heard all the fag/gay/poofter... terms thrown at me, more often than not with vitriol.

Ps I finally cut it all off last year after having long hair for around 35 years

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (4 children)

As a born and bred Geordie, I apologise on behalf of the northerners. The early 2000s were a pretty shit time around those parts for intolerance. I used to dress "alternatively", black fingernails, spikey died hair etc. And would get similar slurs thrown my way despite being heterosexual. I no longer live in Newcastle, but it seems a LOT better these days when I visit.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When I was like 17, someone on the internet called me "pizza face" for absolutely no reason after seeing a picture of me. I had really bad acne at the time, so my face resembled a pepperoni pizza.

It's funny now when I think about it because it was a great insult. But I have to admit they successfully offended me.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Wagon burner

I'm indigenous but my younger brother and I used to make fun of it

We now refer to ourselves as 'Station Wagon Burners'

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was referred to as 'the help' once. It was said seriously and the person who said it did not see issue with it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I thought this was an acceptable term?? TIL

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

There's a lot of historical and cultural baggage with that term in the US. Specifically concerning its use in reference to house slaves and then freed slaves during and after our reconstruction.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oh. Not from the US, didn't know it was that serious. Sorry

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Oh no worries! I just assume that everyone else isn't from the US on Lemmy so I try to contextualize where I can.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Someone called me a cinnamon toast bitch today on overwatch.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Cinnamon toast is delicious, I'd take that as a compliment

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've recently been called a man whore for the third time in my life which is shocking, thought men weren't judged for that lol. Funnily twice by men.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I didn't know anyone would say that with a straight face. It's so funny to me to just imagine some grown-up playground-bully type call another grown man a "man whore".

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It comes as a mild shock to me, since we have a very strong purity culture here. I still have an unflattering tho undeserved reputation.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

β€œYou are just like your mother.”

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Yeah I was also told "You are just like PseudoSpock's mother" once

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Let's see... I'm a heterosexual white male.

I've been called faΓ—Γ—ot, niΓ—Γ—er, and (for some insane fucking reason) kike. Now, I only put the Γ—Γ— in those first two because they tend to get filtered otherwise, this is one of the rare instances when the terms are appropriate to spell out, so anyone trying to jump my ass about that is going to be made fun of.

Now, the fag part, that makes sense because that is something plenty of idiots default to as an insult, and it was most commonly thrown at me when I was bouncing for a few gay bars, so that made sense too.

But the other two? I'm not just Caucasian, I'm white, as in if I get more than five minutes of sun, I turn red. Almost all fucking irish and German ancestry. We pale, pasty fuckers are about as white as it gets. And it wasn't just once! Two different times the slur has been thrown at me. Neither time was I even around anyone black.

And kike? I didn't even know what the fuck it meant at the time. There was zero jewish presence in the entire county until maybe fifteen years ago. The nearest synagogue is two hours driving away. So, I assume the idiot didn't know what it meant, or he was an even bigger idiot than using the term in the first place would indicate.

People are fucking tripping sometimes.

But you know what has never, ever been directed at me? Honky. Nor has mick or kraut, though I've never thought of those as a big deal because both sides of my family laugh at them. It's just fucking weird to me that the n word in specific was thrown my way twice, by two different adults. Like, I know you're an idiot because the word came out of your mouth, but wtf? Why that one?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

FYI two asterisks is the code to bold text so your comment isn’t rendered as you intended. Took me a second to realize what you meant.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I was called a KKK N-gg-r once, in passing. Still puzzles me

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The Spanish love to call me a gringo. I mean they aren't wrong, I'm as white as white gets.

Its nice to see the air taken out of their sails and face turn red when they find out ol gringo here knows their language and can tell when I'm being insulted to my face, then inform them that they can at least insult me in our country's language like the rest of the racist whitey hating pricks.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Fat dyke. Cracker. Loser. Piece of shit. Failure. Being sexually harassed by guy throwing me against a wall, shove him back, told im a typical snowflake, yet another stupid bitch who can't take a joke. Get the fuck out , go back where you belong. Was especially fun living in homeless shelter, standing out front smoking a cig, and black guys driving by yelling at me that I'm a gentrifier.

Homeless shelters are fun.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

"It" and also probably a few anti Asian slurs

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I actually got called a β€œhonkey” once. Any other time, I would have laughed my ass off, but this was in the middle of an argument with a coworker. In the moment, it bugged me… but I laughed later. In fact, I’m smiling about it now.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

A few people have told me I have beady eyes and it cut deep

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Two slurs that my instance won't actually let me write down, followed up by the guy threatening to attack me

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Was called "boy" insultingly by a Chinese dude who wanted the taxi and was trying to put himself above me to show it was his.

I'm a white 6-foot dude who was about 10 years older, and taller than him.

Racist twats exist everywhere.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Why is that racist...?

Honestly, the irrelevant fact that the person was Chinese is the most racist thing in this comment.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

That was meant sincerely, and not just to insult or outrage?

"Yankee"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Doesn't really qualify but I'm gonna link to when someone here called me beanboy because it is funny

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

"He certainly has a fertile imagination," said by some upper class twat trying to sound intelligent while using an intellectual dog whistle to alert other highbrows I was a liar, and passing it off to stupid little me as a compliment.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Damn, sorry about that. She’s the worst.

load more comments
view more: next β€Ί