Asklemmy

This has happened on a few occasions, I’ve always fed and bathed the person, on a few occasions,I’ve let the person stay with me for a little while, and once I dated a guy for a little while.

This has ended with mostly positive results. And these people didn’t really come knock on my door (we usually met out-and-about).

There are some cultural differences here that affects the equation. If homelessness is taken care of that doesn't mean there are no people on the streets. There will however be a a certain "enrichment" in what type of people are there.

Our constitution demands that everyone must have a life worth human dignity. If somebody looses everything, gouvernment provides housing and funds for minimum standards of living.

So for that reason, only ones that are on the streets are the ones who can't/won't take care of themselves, even if these things are given to then, but are not so far gone they could be institutionalized. Everyone is still free to get hammered and be on the streets.

Very often these people have long history on substance abuse and have degraded to a level of a child. Police often picks them up, so they can be washed, because they often soil themselves. They are not dangerous, because then they would be institutionalized, but they are very smelly and often vocally abusive.

Would I open my door to these people? No.

I would give then food and water if needed, but these are not things they ask for.

We bring food sometimes to the local homeless guy but he doesn't seem to want anything else.

This answer for me would really depend on a lot of factors. I don't want a homeless roommate who won't leave and can't work, don't want a mentally unstable person in the house with my daughters. So random guy probably not. I'd bring him food and a gallon of iced water and say I could not let him in. If it was the guy we know from under the bridge, and husband home, probably would let him shower and give him some of husband's clothes to wear, sure.

But we HAVE had homeless people stay with us for a time if we knew them, quite a few times. Wandering guys who just didn't live anywhere. Couch surfing people.

Had something similar in 2020 happen. Things happened and it ended with him and my mom getting into a heated argument as to why he can't get help from police or some other resources (which I can't remember). Ended with my mom pretty much telling the guy not to return.

He played the part of a nice person, but in the end he was trouble. So I think my answer to this would probably be not to trust them.

I'd wash his clothes, too.

All of those things can be done outside of my house, so I don't really see any reason why not to. Beard trim, blam, here's a razor, sandwich, here's that shit, here's a bottle of water, the hose is over there, here's some soap, blam. Even if I'm cooking up the most diabolical and insane homeless person of all time, I can still fulfill all of those requests while also keeping them outside, doing very little, and maybe telling them to also fuck off after if I'm a psycho.

The rest of this is gonna mostly be venting, so you can safely ignore it if you don't care.

People in america are totally cooked on homelessness, even though they're, on average, metaphorically inches away from it at any given time. Homeless shelters in america mostly are horrible places to go where your shit will be stolen and they will do nothing. They're bad for children, they're full of drugs, and very frequently they have curfews, rules against having animals or pets, rules requiring that you go to religious ceremonies, etc. Homeless people aren't just like, insane illogical transients. I mean they kind of are, but there's also a reason for why they do the things that they do, that includes maybe knocking on the door of a random suburb.

I would actually find it more likely in this situation that this random person would probably want to use my toilet since there are no fucking public toilets in america, especially as private businesses will deny use of their restrooms to people who look homeless. Then people get arrested for public defecation, urination, or nudity because there's nowhere else to go, obviously there's also mental health, and then all you see is how some guy on the street on fent gets arrested with his pants around his ankles and his asscheeks covered in shit and you think "wow that guy's crazy" and have no further thoughts. Context is eradicated.

Give someone in america the slightest advantage over the homeless, a shitty suburban flat, with a lower rent, that they spend two thirds or more of their income on, including roommates, and they will still somehow find a way to spit on the homeless after riding the bus into town every day cause they can't afford a car. They will still live their lives in fear and they will still come to hate the homeless because somehow the person basically making negative income is not able to afford soap or a high-fiber diet.

It's the "Oh, well, it's not my problem, that sucks for them, but I'm still allowed to be offended by it." sort of mentality. You can give them every reason under the sun why hating the homeless doesn't make any sense, why hating the homeless is immoral, why they don't deserve it, how they are products of their environment. Still people will desperately cling to it. It makes me understand how racism occurs, I suppose, because it's the same phenomena. "Ah, well, I understand all of the stats about racism, but this particular member of this particular racial minority, I still hate them personally for acting in line with the statistical average of their group.". Insanity. It's as though it's all just abstract thought goop that has no bearing on anyone's life, or that somehow I should be the exception to it.

I think it's gotta be a functional adaptation, or something. Maybe they can prevent themselves from going insane and becoming nihilists if they just suddenly become individualists and objectivists as soon as it becomes convenient, or something. It is not that hard to conceive of a reality in which the person cutting you off in traffic is rushing to the hospital, or, a reality in which they, maybe naively but understandably want to enjoy their expensive car while they still can, or, maybe a reality in which they're just panicking because they're late to work or something.

I am an introvert, I am awkward, I hate hanging around people and talking to people. Even I can talk to the homeless when they need someone to talk to, and reluctantly give them money, and rides to places when they ask, since it would otherwise be like two hours and twelve dollars of travel, bus stops, a transfer station, travel, more bus stops, before they get across town to do a fairly basic errand. The social fabric is falling apart. Please be nice, it is not that hard, it costs very little, it happens infrequently, and very possibly if some of you extroverted assholes picked up some slack instead of making things harder for the most maligned, I could go back to my cave.

I'm not a hairdresser and wouldn't have confidence trimming a guy's beard. Other than that, I'd let him in, get to know him a little, maybe give him a salad with water, and yeah the shower would be on the house, you think I'd charge for a scent cleanse using Earth's most abundant resource? I just hope he brought clothes, unless he doesn't mind wearing women's clothes.