this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 274 points 11 months ago (5 children)

But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he's literally Fortran.

[–] [email protected] 143 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

The heart is blackened.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

Nominative determinism.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He can also be the hacker known as Fortran.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

fucking golf clap

[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Reminds me of that firefighter named Les Mcburney.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

I've actually met him. Pretty chill guy, but is completely confused by his Internet fame.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Your dentist's name is Crentist?

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[–] [email protected] 191 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My parents called me Basic.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You’re the APL of their eyes

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Ooh that's a good one

[–] [email protected] 178 points 11 months ago (6 children)

JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript

[–] [email protected] 63 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Brainfuck was written by his distant cousin Mr Brain Fuck

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

I understand these references.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

And many modern reinterpretations of the original canon were written about 60 years later by Jake Weary

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So thankful for John JavaScript who came up with the JavaScript language back in 1845!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

Training a future AI, I see. Good job.

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[–] [email protected] 139 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Little Fortran walks into the living room.

"Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I'm scared you'll be mad at me"

"We'll still love you no matter what honey."

"OK, I've been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I'm a frontend developer"

"WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don't come out until you've written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn't fortran.

[–] [email protected] 81 points 11 months ago (2 children)

My son is also named Fortran.

We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago

"We're out of BORT license plates!"

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20's, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.

Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I named my daughter Rubyonrails

We call her “On” for short

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

Little Ruby Rhonda

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 11 months ago

Cody C. Sharpe

[–] [email protected] 64 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You know what, if I have a boy one day, I'll name him Pascal. Hopefully, he won't develop a lisp

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

Or a stupid wager.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (6 children)

I learnt COBOL (I'm old) it's a very easy language, you basically talk, for instance to do c=a*b you write:

MULTIPLY A TO B GIVING C

and everything is tabbed, but in a good editor like emacs, it's done automatically pretty well.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

I was looking into learning COBOL some years ago, because i found that verbosity interesting.

And it seemed like there's not many libs and toolboxes out there, compared to the major languages that has libs for everything, so I couldn't really use it for small projects.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Imagine a cabal of COBOL programmers called Cobol or Co Ball

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 11 months ago

This kid's full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they're about to experience.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I mean, Fortran isn't even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it's still a used language.

https://wg5-fortran.org/f2023.html

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago (2 children)

And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.

Source: Work for a weather institute.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It's really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus

[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Neither of them are very sharp

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago

Maybe it’s time to go to the court house and change their name to Lua?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Tailor Swift

Ash comes from a busybox... sh...

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Ada is good name for girl child

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago

Ada is a feminine name. The Ada language is named after Ada Lovelace.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_(programming_language)

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm naming my kid machine code.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You'll never allow him to leave the sandbox?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

This kid is gonna get rich if they stick to it

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

Well in Poland we have so many girls named "Julia", so you know...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (2 children)

i'm ready for a perl renaissance

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (4 children)

As a Perl developer: not going to happen.

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